Green Eggs and Ham

Adieu, Adieu!

2006-06-27T20:24:00.000-07:00

hmm, i'm over blogger. sorry, i guess myspace is the place now, but really the whole thing is rather, how you say, a gay! i should probably quit blogging anyway... but i have my textamerica and um, my gayspace, so, goodbye blogger, for now, i suppose!

and another one bites the dust

2006-06-08T00:22:00.000-07:00

goodbye houston, hello arlington! then, some rehearsal, some free time, some visiting with some buuuuds, maybe some swimming, some sleep, some more rehearsals, some wandering, some concert, some party time!, some sleep? some showers and goodbyes, then hello houston!

topped off by a birthday party! i got such an awesome gift for him, too. man, i am such an awesome person!

roadtrip!

2006-05-31T00:42:00.000-07:00

i'm going to the valley tomorrow, i am really excited to see my family and do stuff and junk. yay yay yay!

this is going to be really fun, things are always crazy whenever we get together.

unfortunately, my camera is broken, so it won't be as exhuastively documented as usual.

maybe for the better, hahaha.

time to sleep!!!!!

Don't Give Up On Me, i know it's late

2006-04-28T23:12:00.000-07:00

God, i'm lonely. that's why i'm on the internet now. It's probably because i've been listening to bob dylan and solomon burke all night. god i love solomon burke. my favorite song of his is If You Need Me, but right now i'm listening to don't give up on me. I have 3 songs on loop: don't give up on me, if you gotta go by bob dylan, and mama you've been on my mind, again by bobby.

i'd just be curious to know if you can see yourself as well-as someone who has had you on his mind.

it's a great version, too, with joan baez. i love it.

in addition to bobby d and solomon b, this is the music i've been listening the most to lately:
franz ferdinand-they are so good! i mean, they are great musicians! i never knew it till i got the cd! and you know, they're not even really scottish! so it's ok to like them!
linda ronstadt-specifically canciones de mi padre. i've encountered a lot of hate over the last few weeks, and i don't mean people simply saying, let's stop illegal immigration. i mean, people referring to hispanics by nasty names and nasty stereotypes, and with a nasty attitude about us even existing in this country; i feel very uncomfortable sometimes, and i hate knowing people will listen to me more knowing my last name is fitzpatrick than if it was spanish in origin. i am hispanic. but i am not illegal. yes, people like us exist. and yes, it is rascist to refer to us as wet-backs. this album makes me feel like it's ok to be who i am, even in south texas. which used to be mexico, so wouldn't it make sense that there is some cultural residue from those long-gone days, but what the hell do i know, i can barely speak the language, right... oh well, it was the irish and italians before us, and who knows who it will be tmorrow...
goodbye yellow brick road- specifically this song has no title. i just loves me some 70's elton.
al green-everything of his i have. take it as you will.

Perhaps it's the color of the sun cut flat
An' cov'rin' the crossroads I'm standing at,
Or maybe it's the weather or something like that,
But mama, you been on my mind.

I don't mean trouble, please don't put me down or get upset,
I am not pleadin' or sayin', "I can't forget."
I do not walk the floor bowed down an' bent, but yet,
Mama, you been on my mind.

Even though my mind is hazy an' my thoughts they might be narrow,
Where you been don't bother me nor bring me down in sorrow.
It don't even matter to me where you're wakin' up tomorrow,
But mama, you're just on my mind.

I am not askin' you to say words like "yes" or "no,"
Please understand me, I got no place for you t' go.
I'm just breathin' to myself, pretendin' not that I don't know,
Mama, you been on my mind.

when you wake up in the morning baby look inside the mirror
you know i won't be next to you
you know i won't be near.

I NEED SLEEP! NOOOOW! WHY DO I PROCRASTINAAAAAAATE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

2006-04-27T01:54:00.000-07:00

It is 4 o'clock in the morning, thrusday, april 27.

i am working on a poetry anthology. 25% of my grade. due by nooooon.

today i: collected 30+ poems on the theme of trnsformation and revelation (death poems are excellent for this theme)
set up an interview for my next and final paper, about MECA
wrote a 5 page intro (still working on it actually)
formatted and printed those 30+ poems (this is actually not easy- i mean, it's very time-consuming, i couldn't just copy and paste because i had to collect most of those poems from print sources)
excuses excuses excuses

i'm at the point where i'm so tired i'm not tired.

one time i spent the night at someone's house and didn't sleep for a day and a half. i think that is what will happen tomorrow

if i wake up in 3 hours and feel ok, i think i'll go to work. probably less than that because i'm not done yet.

i want to say never again, but i know that's a lie.

Maybe I shouldn't be doing this at 2 in the morning...

2006-04-22T23:37:00.000-07:00

I feel really bad for my boyfriend. One of my friends did something really mean tonight, and I don't really get why. I mean, I get why she acted that way, but I don't understand why she felt the need to do it.

If anyone has the right to be mad at him, it's me. And I'm not. I've found the grace and strength to forgive him and move on, and I'm happy with him now, and yes I'm still with him. So I don't understand why my friends feel the need to not only ignore him but to actually go out of their way to be mean.

I mean, as far as I know, he did nothing to you, but if he did, I'm really sorry. I just think it's ridiculous that I can be friends with him, much less remain his girlfriend, and yet these people still think it necessary to treat him that way.

Is it supposed to be a show of support for me? Because I've forgiven and moved on, so it's not really that supportive for you to stay stuck in the past rehashing the same old same old. I mean, that seems so obvious.

So maybe it's not a show of support for me, maybe it's just an excuse to be mean. I really hope not, though, because I really like these people, they were my good friends. And I don't like the thought of a friend using my pain and hurt to justify her own rightousness (sic?) and ill will.

It's just very upsetting to me, and I'm not sure what to do. Should I talk to them and say hey, he's my boyfriend and if you disaprove that's one thing but don't talk badly about him to my face, like i'm not even dating him, and don't think i'm going to be amused when you try to hurt him. I mean, I'd be upset about you purposely trying to hurt anybody, much less my best friend, my boyfriend.

Like I said, I really don't appreciate anybody using my pain to justify her own maliciousness.

Ho-Hum

2006-03-02T07:49:00.000-08:00

I have become a bitter and caustic person in the past few months, and I think the sole reason is that I am now a seasoned Houston driver.

Everyday, I see really stupid people doing really stupid stuff. Then my blood pressure rises, and I yell at them through my windows or mutter things under my breath, but not too obviously because I don't want to get shot. Why do these people drive like this? How have they survived this long? They're not necessarily bad people, but man, they are really dangerous sometimes! Driving is turning me into a monster...

one time a metro bus cut me off. a metro! if you're a bus, you don't get to cut people off. a freaking bus!

Here's something I see every day: people going at least 40 in a school zone. But the thing is, they actually slowed down! they were going 50 in a 35 mph zone, then slowed to 40 when they're supposed to go 20. This really pisses me off! it's a school zone for crying out loud! you can see all the little kids who can't cross the street because of all the maniacs. i mean, come on!

I really hate when people change lanes 3 or 4 times to pass one fricking car. Hello! I usually end up pulling next to them at the red light, even though I actually followed the law and didn't drive all crazy- like.

I know it's tempting to go 80 on a long street when no cars are around, but i see people do this on busy streets, when pedestrians are around. I wish I had a bull-horn so I could inform and enlighten these people. don't they realize that driving like that doesn't get them there any faster? i mean, you gain at most a minute or two. it's been scientifically proven! SCIENCE SAYS SO, MORONS!

I really hate the space invaders that tailgate. some car did this to me this morning, and it was raining really badly. i'm not gonna speed in the rain with my crappy car and icky brakes so you can get to work on time! but it's ok; their intake valves suck up the carcinogens from my exhaust pipe, so maybe they'll be selected out of the driving population.

I really hate when people talk on cell phones and drive, too. I read somewhere that an 18-25 year old driving and using a cell phone has the same reaction time as a 60-75 year-old. that's really freaking old! i know it's true, because i've seen people do ridiculous things on the cell phone!. one time, there was this lady behind me, and she was going reeeeaaally sllloooowwww, she was about a block behind me for at least 8 blocks. then she got off her cell phone, and zoom-zoomed and she did the lane-change thing, too. I still pulled into the parking lot before she did.

One time I saw a guy shaving while he was driving. ridicuolous.

uck! i've also noticed that when people slow down to stop behind you, that's when they pull down their mirrors or start messing with their ipods or look out their windows to check out the view. hello, look ahead of you when you slow down so you know when to stop! i saw a guy hit another guys' bumper one time at a red light because of this. he wasn't going fast at all, he just didn't stop when he should have. it was one of the greatest days of my life; vindication!

i know sometime people just do stupid things, and that's that. but if you miss your turn, you don't cut off someone and give the finger and yell when they don't realize you're gonna turn across three lanes and keep going and almost hit you. you keep going, then turn at the next light and go around the block if you have to!

and the worst part is that you can't really do anything. i mean, what's the finger gonna do? piss them off, maybe, but they'll still be bad drivers.

Whooooooshhhh....

2006-01-26T08:24:00.000-08:00

Blargh, I am so tired right now. This semester is starting out great, I love all my classes, and I have normal hours this semester, so I'm home by 4, not by 9. grrrrrrrrrrrreat!

I still miss UNT a lot, and I think alot about what it would be like if I still went there. Things are just so different now. I really miss my friends there, but I know this is a better place to be for my family; i guess it was kind of selfish for me to want to get away.....

I had an epiphany the other day. Like, a potentially life-changing epiphany. I don't know if I can put it into words, or that I should even try, but it was a good ephiphany and a scary epiphany all at the same time. maybe that's the way all ephiphanies should be. i tried explaining it to somebody, and i wound up so frustrated because he couldn't understand what i was saying, he couldn't see what i was seeing, so i'm going to keep my ephiphany my ephiphany. i mean, it's probably pretty obvious to people who think about it, but it was such a lucid moment that i really felt overwhelmed almost. my secret ephiphany.

this wasn't it, but next time you have the chance to see an elephant 6 band, go see them, even if you have to carry your crippled brother up and down westheimer on your back, because come Monday when you hear all the emo/hipster-turds talking about how great the show is, you will feel a feeling somewhat like anger at the fact that they saw a great band and are incapable of appreciating the greatness of the band, but only like the fact that they're somewhat obscure and maybe the average layperson won't catch the reference, and whoa you're cool now emo-kid you know something, only you actually don't, and they're not even that obscure because i'm an average lay-person and i'm a fan, and going to numbers does not make you an "outsider" and shopping at taxi taxi does not make you an original angster.

i hate emo-hipster turds.

Blarrrrgh

2005-11-30T07:06:00.000-08:00

I'm at work right now, waiting for my next assignment. One of the coaches just walked in and was really excited because our latest issue's cover story was on the girls soccer team, and he was like, whoa it looks like sports illustrated! that is the power of photography, my friend.

bahahahha i'm a turd. he's probably most excited about the recruiting possibilities and all the records the team just set.

we do a lot of sports stories, but it's not like, football is king and academics must bow before it, so that's cool. actually, one of our recent ones was about Lee Labrada. google image him, and then realize that this guy is like 4 feet tall and glistening with that horrible body oil tan stuff. yuck.

yay for cold weather, and boo for arthritis.

The Joys of Motherhood

2005-11-17T18:35:00.000-08:00

Ok, here's a long story made short: Layla ran away, we found Layla, a few weeks later we noticed she was fatter, then she started getting whinier, then needier, and then we were like, man she's really big, and finally 2 weeks ago she had puppies.

I LOVE THESE PUPPIES SO MUCH! THEY ARE SO INCREDIBLY CUTE, I CANNOT DESCRIBE TO YOU WITH WORDS THE DEGREE OF THEIR CUTENESS. IT'S SO MUCH CUTER THAN A BABY COULD EVER BE! I AM NOT EXAGERATING!!!!!!!

they just nestle up against each other and crawl all over each other and make cute little baby noises. but they've grown so much! already, one started walking yesterday, and today their eyes all started opening. In just a few weeks they'll be big enough to start giving them away. I don't know how we're going to do it! I love them all, they've all got little personalities already. there's a fat one who is kind of a bully, and then the runt is really quiet and sweet, then there's one who bobs his head from side to side everytime he scoots around so we call him Ray, and there's one who cries everytime we pick him up, and another one who makes little pig noises. they are so adorable and precious!

we're going to have a puppy party and show them off to all of dyl's emo-turd friends.

and you hold them and they snuggle up against you and i just love them so much! having puppies has taught me how to love. true story!

i think they say that having a dog reduces anxiety by 24% or something, well having puppies must reduce anxiety by about 90%. while they're small and cute, once they start pissing on the carpet it's a whole other story.

i am in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Addendum:
Ok, here's something funny that happened to me the other day. I told dyl i was hit by a car, and he asked me if i scratched my car, and i was like no, dumbass, i was walking. i was in the middle of the street and i guess the light changed to green, and i was in front of a car, almost to the sidewalk, and this guy starts driving, and he hits me! so i banged on his windshield and yelled at him, and the poor guy looked mortified, but he hit the gas pedal again and bumps me!. It was raining, so i guess he didn't see me at first, and then he probably panicked, but man, I thanked God when I got to the sidewalk. i felt so awful, too, because the guy looked so scared, but i swear, when i started crossing the street, he had a red light and i had a walk sign. my thigh was sore the next morning, and i had a little trouble walking across campus to my next class, but i hardly had a bruise! I was really lucky, he could have easily run over my foot or knocked me down on the street where another car could have hit me. I'm also really fortunate that when he hit me, he had barely started from a stop, instead of going a good 40 mph with all the momentum and mA that entails.

it didn't hurt nearly as bad as when i was crossing Ave. C at UNT and was hit by a bicycle.

Ok

2005-10-09T14:59:00.000-07:00

Allright, so I decided to take down the last post (the one before poop) because it was brought up to me that if my parents saw it, the situation would be even more difficult than it already is. So thanks to the people who left comments and offered advice and support, I really needed it. Anonymous, you must not be anyonymous or you would have left a name, but your logic is impeccable. And for those of you who don't know what the heck is going on, I know this sounds really ominous and strange, but I haven't done anything bad, really this is about something someone else has done.

So here's what's been happening in these last few weeks:

1.) I've decided to try to do what I haven't been able to do before and forgive him and try to get on with my life. So yes, we are still together. And actually, it has been amazingly a lot easier than I thought it would be. I mean, for a few days I was completely depressed and could not eat, sleep, or make myself do anything, but after that things have been so much better than ever. It was like we went through the 9 stages of relationship in a period of about 24 hours, with the exception of the grave-dressing stage, which lasted about a year before, well, "it." It's hard to explain, and I know I'm going to get grief from my girlfriends, but really, it's hard to explain. I just see things now that I never saw before (mostly because they weren't there before). I mean, I still don't trust him, and it's going to be a good while before I do, so it's not like I'm fooling myself or looking at things through rose-colored glasses, he is going to have to work hard to earn my trust again, but for now I'm giving him a chance.

2.)Despite all the doomsday prophecies about Rita, we were very lucky and missed it. I just remember what it was like in El Paso, when we'd get huge dust-storms with hurricane force winds, and what kind of damage that did, and I really freaked out, but luckily we were more than ok.

3.)I am making a perfect 100 in anthropology! yes! and i get to do a project on guitar culture in the UK! AWESOME!

Ok, that's all the attention span i have. latah playah

poop

2005-09-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

i said poop.

Oh Dear

2005-09-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm ready ready ready, i think. I feel a lot better, I'm not as nervous and agitated, but I'm still plenty worried, which is ok, I guess. I just don't feel like we're prepared enough, but I don't know what else we can do.

Apparently there's a Kroger open somewhere, so we're going to try to get some more water soon, but i'm worried because the tropical storm-force winds are supposed to start soon. It's already raining in Galveston, and the wind is picking up here, along with increased cloud cover. Other than that, is such a beautiful day, nice and cool, and breezy. Beautiful!

When the rain starts, I'm going to start getting my clothes together and my most valuable necessary possessions and move to the front; i think i'm going to try to fit as much into my violin case as i can. i've already put my backpack straps on the case, for easy traveling, hahaha.

The stress is already taking it's toll. I haven't slept or eaten well, and I'm so tired and starting to get a sore throat. my eyes are watery and dry at the same time, and they have that i-cried-last-night-feeling, even though i got a full 7 hours of sleep, much more than the previous night. i'm just sick of waiting.

i have a feeling the neighbor's roof will fly off. it's an industrial building with a tin-metal roof.

i kind of want to drive down heights blvd. and take some pictures, but i'm wary of leaving the neighborhood. i guess there's a calm panic vibe in the city, and it feels very empty and very quiet, and very eery. last night, there were no nature sounds, no bugs, frogs, nothing. it was so strange, and the air had that wet taste, like right before a rain. i didn't feel that wet taste this morning, but the air is considerably less humid than it usually is, and much cooler. really, it's a beautiful day outside.

i guess this will be my last post for a while, the power will be out for anywhere from a day to 3 weeks. the good news, i guess, is that we're close to downtown, which is usually taken care of first, so hopefully we'll get water and power quickly, and the infrastructure will be ok, too.

it's just so hard to see your home attacked like this. the gulf coast is so beautiful and it's always so peaceful to drive down i-45 towards the beach, even to go to the mall or tooky's or all my old haunts before we moved. even just driving the backroads by hobby and almada, before the big developers came through, was so calming for me, and it could very well be inundated pretty soon.

i guess i just feel helpless and ignored by the national media and even my representative to an extent (she said something really stupid this morning about houston not being at risk, even though the majority of it is laced with bayous and floods easily in "minor" storms), because everyone is worried about new orleans, and yes it's awful for them, but there are millions of people here who need help, too.

all of our relatives from out of state are calling, and my dad's cousin kept saying she loves us and Jesus loves us, too, which is a nice sentiment, but the fact that she's that worried is, well, nervous-ating. my poor brother's grandfather was in the hospital after having a stroke, but they sent him home early to evacuate the hospital, and my brother is really worried about him. we were in a similar situation last year when my grandfather was in the hospital during the 4 hurricanes that hit Florida, and i can imagine my brother is remembering that and having ptsd kind of feeling. i'm worried about his grandfather, too.

i just feel so helpless and i don't know what to expect. i would say wish me luck, but most of the people reading this are dealing with it, too, so good luck to us all. really, that's the worst part right now, is not knowing what will happen.

Rita Rita bo bita banana fana fo frita me my mo mreta--- Rita!

2005-09-21T17:47:00.000-07:00

So for the last 3 days, every time i walked into the office, all anyone has been talking about has been Rita. And at first I was like, whatever, I've been through Allison, bitch, but now I am really starting to freak out and scare myself. Working for the university, I've knew they were going to cancel the game this saturday, and they'd already planned on canceling classes this friday. But I got to work today for an 8:30- 1:00 shift, and was told to leave at 10:30 because I'm not "essential personnel."I mean, there's been this buzz around campus for the last few days, and it's been on everyone's mind but I'd been hoping. Actually, UH is not too far from a storm surge area; i'm worried about all the stuff in the science labs and all the anthrax they keep at UT Galveston.

I had trouble falling asleep last night, so I turned on the weather channel thinking they'd be able to tell me something definitive and maybe i'd feel better knowing something at least. But all they were talking about was how it really wasn't that bad in florida, which is great for them, but there are still millions of people who will be affected who need to know how bad the storm will be and where the worst areas are and so on, and this jackass on the weather channel kept remarking that now that the worst has passed, our weekend fun can begin. jackass! it's a fucking 5! stronger than katrina! i ended up with about an hour of sleep, but i wasn't tired the next day. i think i'm running on adrenaline because i also went about 12 hours without eating and wasn't hungry at all, and i should be asleep now, but i'm pumped up and ready to board up the windows. my stomache is in knots, and i'm normally able to keep myself calm and composed. i think it's because i know that it's not irrational to feel this way.

The house I used to live in is in a level 3 storm surge area, and is under mandatory evacuation. It is taking 12 hours to get to Trinity, normally a 2 hour drive. It's almost too late to leave the city! we were thinking about evacuating, but the van's running so badly it would probably break down before we got out of the city, and we're afraid a tank of gas isn't enough to even get out, and stations are starting to run out of fuel, so we're going to hunker down. i'm worried for dylan and my mom, and i'm really not looking forward to the power going out, but i guess i've accepted it much more so than i've accepted the rest of the storm. so i guess tomorrow we're going to board up the windows and move the outside furniture to the shed, and on friday we're going to start moving furniture in the house inward and start packing to live in the kitchen. i guess i'll do laundry and make sure i have enough underwear and stuff. i keep telling myself that this house is 80 years old and has been through many storms and is still standing, but i'm almost positive that none of those storms were a level 5. it's like, holy shit, allison i could handle, but a level 5?!

poor monty has been working to get out of her cage for almost 3 hours now, and the storm is still 500 miles away. it's painful and frightening to watch a pet act so bizarrely, and to know why. and it's really hit me just how devastating a storm like this could be. it's never been more clear to me. a new mattress, new textbooks, furniture, the instruments, all "little" things, but necessary nonetheless; i guess it's hard to explain, but imagine the room you're in and losing everything in it and having to start over, financially and emotionally, it's very difficult. i just hope we get through it and that dylan is ok; the power was out for 3 weeks when Alicia came through, and that was a level 3. we've got our water and a bunch of canned beans. i am really scared, especially after watching Katrina and talking to some of the survivors in my classes. estevan is scared, too, and he keeps asking why we aren't leaving. poor thing. i guess we'll prepare as best as we can and then we can only pray.

and it's tough knowing that it is only Wednesday and I've got another 2 days of feeling nervous and queasy, and then it's here.

Break up your unplowed ground

2005-08-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

Ok, so hopefully this is the last time i'll post anything about this, this is just to give a final word and explanation.

I'm going to UH after all. I talked to my mom the other day, and tried telling her that I really wanted to go back to UNT, but like she says (and these are her exact words), "it would be a terrible hardship" on the family if I went back. So that's a good reason to stay, I suppose.

The other reasons I am staying include:
This would be really hard financially for my family, and I can't justify spending that much money when I can get the same level of education here for significantly cheaper, especially with all that's going on at home; I'm not a music major anymore, so I dont' have that justification, and it's hard to tell my parents that I want to spend an additional 5 to 8 thousand a year because I have fun up there.
With Dylan's medical problems and the aftermath of my grandfather's death last fall, my parents really want me to stay and help out, and I would feel really guilty forcing my way back. I don't want to get into it, but Dyl has had a lot of complications, which is starting to affect my mom's health as well, and things have been really nasty for my family after grandpa died, which has been tough on my dad. And I know that if I went back, I would regret not being around to help.

I don't know how this rumor got started (actually, I can probably guess...), but I am not staying because of JD or because we're getting married or anything like that, so if you're the one saying this, please stop, it's getting annoying. I'm not staying in Houston because I hated UNT or anything like that, either. I know I complained a lot my first semester, but I chalk that up to my grandpa's death hitting me hard, having a crappy roomate situation, my hand mess coming back with full force, and just the stresses of being a freshman. I liked UNT a lot, and I'm gonna miss my friends a lot; it had started to feel like home.

So that's that.

Crap

2005-08-11T22:05:00.000-07:00

I stopped by UNT's home page today, and found and noticed a link with a little siren image next to it, that mentioned something about an internet server being compromised. So I looked, and apparently housing records were hacked into. Crap, I think to myself. So, they have a link to check if your file was one of the ones stolen. And I enter my information, and this is what awaits me:

It appears some of the personal information the university stores electronically about you as part of its Housing operations was included on the server that was accessed by a computer hacker.

In addition, it appears that some personal information you submitted to the university while using a web-based form to inquire about your financial aid was publicly available via the World Wide Web when using specific key words or numbers in a search engine.

WTF! Ok, it's bad enought that my files might have been stolen, but apparently, all this stuff was availabe through a keyword search?! why? i'm guessing it probably wasn't something obvious like, fitzpatrick credit card number, but still, that seems pretty irresponsible on the university's part.

The pieces of personal information that were publicly accessible about you include:
Your social security number
Your student EUID and password
Your student identification number

In addition, the information could have included your name, address, telephone number and student classification.

It then goes on to suggest that if your social security number was listed, and mine was, that you get a free credit report and have a fraud alert placed on your stuff. shit.

I would only be moderately anxious, except that the other day I tried to log onto my bank's website, and it wouldn't let me, and locked me out. And I withdrew some money, and the receipt had less money that I thought would be in it, but I figured I had carelessly spent money and not kept track. So now I am worried. And thoroughly pissed off. Like, really really pissed off, but my hands are killing me right now, so there isn't going to be my usual rant. But suffice it to say that I am very very very angry with that school.

I am a Giant Weiner

2005-07-31T13:43:00.000-07:00

If i was a serial killer i would be The Zodiac Killer.

Over the course of almost 9 years in the 1970s the Zodiac Killer took the lives of over 13 people, either stabbing or shooting them to death in or by their vehicles. All the targets were the same, couples in cars off rural roads.

Taunting cops the Zodiac Killer would send in encrypted messages to the local papers, describing how his past victims had died, and who would come next if they didn't post his message on the cover of the newspaper the following day. The only surviving witness described the zodiac killer as a heavy set man in a self fashioned hooded jacked that covered his face, brandishing a crossed circle that he always signed his letters with.

After 1978 the killings stopped, the Zodiac's case was never solved.

Kill count: 13

Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

Well I'll Be

2005-07-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

Estevan learned how to swim yesterday, and it was quite exciting. Also, I figured out who dies in Harry Potter 6, and I am quite peeved at Dylan for saying what led me to piece it together. Today's post promises to be quite fragmented, much like my ever-dumbening brain.

Ok, so there is a website called congress.org. I used to use this website all the time for a political science class, but it's good if you need to find out who your representatives are and other vital things. They have an easy to use email form to contact said representatives and it's generally a good site. I signed up for their megavote email alert; this feature is cool because it tells you what both branches of congress votes on, how your reps voted, and what votes are upcoming, so you can write your congressmen if you want to. I love it, and that is my psa for the day.

I don't really have anything important to say. i'm starting to hate weblogs more and more.

Today was the first day in 3 weeks that it has not rained, and wasn't it a glorious day indeed. i'm more and more starting to realize just how dumb i've become in college, i've forgotten everything good i used to know.

ach, dylan had another surgery a few days ago. he would have had it last week as soon as the doctor looked at him, but the dr. was booked until this week, so there it is. p0or dyl. he's getting bitterer and meaner and vindictive, and he has an excuse, but he's so mean sometimes. it sounds silly, but it's only been within the last few years that i've realized just how big a deal dyl's leg is; growing up with it, you don't really realize anything is wrong or different, but boy am i realizing it now. i guess i just always assumed they could fix it enough to where he could walk normal and not have back problems or not need special shoes, but really they're just fixing it because you can only have about 3 knee replacements in a life, and they want him to keep the one he has as long as he can. but it sucks, all this pain he goes through and the trauma to my mother especially, and he's eventually going to lose his leg and knee anyway, but maybe by that time they'll have better technology and the prosthetics will last longer. it hurts to think about him losing his leg.
and a few years ago my mom started having medical problems with stress and her thyroid and they kept mis-diagnosing her and she almost went into a coma from one medication, and she's been crazy ever since, and she gets these really bad skin rashes from whatever it is they can't diagnose, and i just knew that it got really bad starting a few years ago. but apparently dad told dyl that moms' thryoid problem started around dyl's first surgery, which wasn't too long after dylan was born, and i am just figuring it all out now because you think thigns like this are normal when you grow up with it. i'm just feeling kind of strange because it's like, why didn't i see this before, and now i'm putting together the big picture, and it changes how i've always understood things to be. i'm starting to wonder about my mom's pregnancy, but i don't want to ask questions. i get the feeling, though, that they didn't realize there was a problem until dylan was born.

jd got back from italy a few days ago, and for one day it was perfect and magical, and the very next day we started fighting again, but it's ok, our fights never usually last long, and they're kind of fun sometimes, as callous as that sounds. i tried to tell him that he looked a little, um, bigger in as kind a way is possible, which i think might be impossible. i just want him to be healthy, and right now he's kind of scaring me because he eats so much and so crappily and is so much bigger than the last time i saw him without a shirt off (we went swimming), which was probably at the senior picnic last year. i really do just want him to be healthy. i guess i shouldn't talk since i'm underweight and haven't exactly been working out or taking my vitamins, but geez.

ach, i got an email from my boss today and she was desperately trying to get me a work study award and was talking to financial aid, and asking me to send them an email. i don't have the heart to tell her that i might not come back, since i'm the last worker they have left, and things have been hectic since christy died. i'll probably just pretend i tried and couldn't get the award, i'm good at being a weasel.

ok so that's it for now i guess

H'ok, so...

2005-07-10T17:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I talked to a good friend the other day about college, and he gave me an honest, objective opinion, unlike anything i'll get at home or from JD (of course). I'm absolutely certain now that I'm not majoring in music anymore; if my shoulder hurts after those puny TMTA rehearsals, n oway would I survive the real world. But if you were to peek into my mind, here is what the debate looks like:

UH:
close (very!) to home: not always a good thing, as i've learned this summer. but after the last year and a half, i had such guilt for being so far away when so much crappy stuff was happening to my family. and dyl is probably going to be cripple well into september, and it would be good for me to help with that. financially, my parents need me here. 0 points.
cheap: this is important because i am taking out loans for education, and why take out large loans when i can get the same education cheaper. also, we are poor, and dyl is going to college soon. 1 point.
education: since i'm not doing music, it really doesn't matter if i stay at unt or not. i will probably end up doing english or some writing-degree, and UH has the number 2 program in the nation, so it would be better here. however, UNT is not so shabby itself. uh gets 1 point.
transfer: it is a pain in the ass to transfer, so you should really want to go to a school to do it. i don't really have a strong desire to go to UH, i was just thinking about leaving UNT. minus 1 point.
graduation: however, it will probably be easier to graduate from UH. it will be easy to do the crucial summer semesters and other such nonsense, and core requirements are easier than at UNT. also, i will not have the problem of transfering majors, which is as much a pain as transfering schools. plus 2 points.
JD: i know boyfriends shouldn't always be a factor, but in the real world, they sometimes are. i foresee jd and i breaking up if i go back, but i can also foresee us not breaking up but just missing each other. hmmm... 1 point for uh
family: family has always been the most important thing to me, especially after the last two years. i want to be close and able to help out. and in mexican culture, you're pretty much expected to live at home until you die, which means guilt for me if i leave. even if it's not reasonable guilt. plus 2 points.
city: when i got to denton, i loved how quaint it was, but by the end of the year i missed living in a big city, and i hate the thought of eventually living in denton and blah. 1 point.
medical: my original plan was to take a semester off music, get healed up, and get back into that, but i've stopped playing violin this summer, and i'm in such pain still, and this pain reaches back 3 years almost to junior year, when i had a year of treatment, and no good. so violin is out forever, which means it is not as crucial that i stay close to good treatment, which would be houston. but, my hands still hurt, and i use my hands for a lot more than just violin, and after the massive gimpy i had senior year where i couldn't open my calculator in calculus, and i still have trouble lifitng a milk carton, maybe it would be better here. certainly a lot more convenient. also, dyl has problems, and my mom has problems, and it would be good for me to be here to help out. plus 2 points.
commute: ach, i hate traffic, i hate driving 30 minutes at a time, and i love living on campus. minus 1 point.
job: it would be much easier for me to work my way through school here, especially since unt would rather give me loans than work study. plus 1 point.
Grand Total: 11 points

UNT:
atmosphere: i can't vouch for uh because i haven't spent much time there, but i have a lot of fun at unt. it is beautiful there (no smoggy yuck-yet), and i noticed a difference in my asthma, and it's a good place to be. sometimes i feel a little lonely, but otherwise i like it up there. denton has character. 1 point
friends: i love my friends, they are great people, and i have a lot of them. you get to know a lot of people when you have a major like music, and you kind of have that family vibe that i loved at pva so much. of course, you have your moments like with any relationship, and it's not like i wouldn't make friends at uh, but all the same- 1 point.
major-mess: i had a lot of trouble dropping a class and beginning the process of changing my major, even though i had medical documentation. the advisor refused to do his job and give me alternatives, and i ended up spending more money and losing credit when it wasn't necessary. i have a feeling this would only worsen if i stay. minus 1 point.
administration: in my 2 semesters there, unt made a lot of dumb decisions, like cancelling a week of classes and not offering a refund, and raising tuition after going waaaaaaaaay overbudget on a campus beautification project. and after working for the university, i have a much better understanding of what is happening in the upper echelons of the administration, and it is not pretty. minus 2 points.
money: unt is more expensive in the long run. my longterm goals are to leave houston, but i don't know if i can afford to do it now. minus 1 point.
BOT: if i stay, though, i have a guaranteed BOT loan, which i don't have to pay back if i graduate in 4 years, which i will do if i have to take 19 hours a semester. plus 1.
JD: it is tough being away from your boyfriend, and things could only get uglier. minus 1.
last year: last year was one of the toughest years of my life, and it was only made worse by the fact that i was far away. (college really didn't have much to do with the crappiness of the year). i spent many a time regretting that i was so far away. 6 hours by car is too far in emergencies, and $200 last minute plane tickets gets to be restrictive. minus 1.
family: having come back, i don't really belong here anymore, but my parents have made it very clear that they could really use me being here. i'll say 0 points.
campus life: i love living in a dorm and on campus, and bruce is going to pretty awesome. it is so much easier to get involved and do stuff, and i love it. plus 1.
familiar: i am pretty comfortable with the system here already, which is a big convenience over having to start all over. plus 1 point.
Grand Total: minus 3 points

As you can see, UH trounces UNT, but I'm starting to think UNT would be better in the end. I guess we'll see, probably sometime soon since i'm tired of being in a limbo about it. i really hate this, i wish things were better for my family and for my shoulders so that i could just play violin and be on my merry way. i just don't know.

stay tuned, and maybe later i'll post the inner dialogue about choosing a major, something i never thought i'd worry about as a musician.

bah.

Where to begin...

2005-07-08T15:03:00.000-07:00

I think I'd like to use today's post to laud some bands i like and that you should like as well. Briefly, I made a mix cd for Jd, and it consisted primarily of Coldplay, Ween, the White Stripes, and the Flaming Lips. These are all bands that I would buy their cd's without feeling the need to check them out first, although if Coldplay keeps it up, they will be bumped off the list.

Ok, so first off, Ween:
This band is awesome. You can listen to eight different songs, and it will sound like eight different bands. This might not sound so appealing, but think about it; a ween cd is essentially a mix cd! and we all know how awesome mixes are. The versatility of their musicianship is matched by the cleverness of their lyrics. Ween songs have classyness in their story-telling that would surely have jealoused good ol' will shakespeare, had he not met an untimely death 400 years ago. Ween Primer: Start out with a good dose of Baby Bitch, and follow up with a healthy heaping of my personal favorite, Push the Little Daisies. And if you can listen to the classic The HIV Song without being offended, Ween is the band for you.

Next up is the Flaming Lips:
They're in a similar vein as Ween, but not as facetious. Indeed, their lyrics are again quite clever, to the point of being beautiful and enlightening. Also, their music is pretty sweet. In fact, I would rate this band a 5 on the Awesome scale, which only goes to 5, so I guess I am saying that this band is perfect. Also, they get points because Wayne Coyne is a fox, to the point of being dreamy. Musically, they have quite a vocabulary; their most recent stuff has been pretty heavy into the synthesizer stuff, without dipping into what we in the biz label "prog." However, if you go for a more natural flavor of music, their older stuff will fail to disappoint. Also, check out their website, it is quite awesome, and has a lot of interesting tidbits about the inspiration behind their stuff.
Flaming Lips Primer: This band has been around for 20-some odd years and put out a lot of albums, and as I have not been cognizant of my musical environment for the last 20 years, I can't speak for some of their older stuff. Their recent album Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots was superb, and dealt with the heavier side of robot love. I didn't like Do You Realize? when I first heard it, but after listening to the lyrics, this is one of my all time favorite songs, up there with My Sweet Lord. They also released a beautiful version of Just Can't Get You Out of My Head, which was far more delightful than Kylie's version, and Plastic Jesus is sure to please even the most die-hard agnostic. If you're looking for lighter music, than I have two words for you: Detacheable Penis.

The Flaming Lips enjoy a healthy friendship with my next favorite band, The White Stripes:
THIS BAND ROCKS. I was piqued with White Blood Cells, hooked with De Stijl, and a a diehard with Elephant. The fact that this band makes such awesome music negates the fact that they don't have a bass-player. In fact, I find it inspirational that they don't have a bass player, much as I like the bass. If you like blues, this band is for you. If you like classic rock, this band is for you. If you are alive, this band is for you, whether you realize it or not. A band that could befriend such a badass (in a good way!) as Loretta Lynn and leave both parties releasing some of the best music of their respective careers deserves to go down in history as the most awesomest band ever. They have clever, catchy hooks; deep, searching lyrics, and such a wholesome, astute sense of what constitutes rock that i believe they can do no wrong, and i'm pretty picky in my music.
White Stripes Primer: White Blood Cells marks a turning in the White Stripes style. Pre blood cells albums such as De Stijl are typically light on the gain and heavy on the smart. I suggest Hello Operator, Apple Blossom, and Pretty Good Looking (for a girl). White Blood Cells has some gems of it's own, like Fell In Love With A Girl and Hotel Yorba, but it's just a stepping stone to one of the greatest albums of all time, Elephant. With Elephant, White Stripes unleashes the full force of their blues and roll education; check out Hardest Button to Button, 7 Nation Army, and Ball and Chain. (sidenote: I own a copy of Elephant on vinyl with a rare cover, and I will treasure it until I die. it is that awesome). Their latest release, Get Behind Me Satan, is a perfect record. I haven't listened to it extensively, but the best track by far is Little Ghost, a tribute to an otherwordly love.

Ok, so those are my top 3 favorite bands. I pretty much just wanted to write this post as a challenge to myself to focus on something for more than 3 seconds, and guess what, it worked! But I have absolutely reached my limit, and Coldplay gets shortchanged, but I'm a little upset with them now. All I have to say, is their music is pretty, and they have a fan-friendly website with lots of freebies, and i was willing to be $19 for lawntickets, but those sold out and $36 is not worth it. So here is a list finisihing out my top 20 music faves. This changes from day to day, and mood to mood, so this isn't definitive beyond the top 3. but check out some of these bands, and you can't go wrong, i promise.

4. Coldplay- would be higher, but X and Y is no Rush of blood.
5. U2- Irish foxy with plenty of pretty, but know how to rock
6. Rachmaninoff- I took a quiz on which Russian composer are you, and I was disappointed not to be Big Gay Tchaik, but Rachmaninoff is so awesome. OMG, i want to marry rachmaninoff just thinking about his beautiful, modernity-music. i love piano. RACHMANINOFF ROCKS!
7. ABBA- good things come from Sweden! LIKE IKEA!!! this band, too, rocks. as only swedish disco can.
8. Bach, Johann Bach- his music is surprisingly fresh for being so old, and other than beethoven, he has probably influenced "classical" music the most. and who doesn't love a good fuge!
9. Emmy-Lou Harris- this lady has a beautiful voice, and really opened up bluegrass music to me. her album Red Dirt Girl is amazing, and she used to rock with the best of them.
10. George Harrison- by far the best of the Beatles, and don't argue because Georgey pwns all. Just look at the crap McCartney has been putting out lately! not worthy!
11. Harry Nillson- this guy is so awesome! and so unappreciated by today's youth! Lime in the Coconut, One, and Spaceman, all underloved treasures.
12. John Coltrane- right now i'm heavy into Coltrane. My favorite lately is Softly as In a Morning Sunrise, but there is tons of good stuff around.
13. Leonard Cohen- also vastly underappreciated! he has an awesome voice, and awesome songs! Like Hallelujah, poorly covered by Rufus Wainwright. There is a War is another keeper.
14. Bela Bartok- I fell in love with his Romanian Folk Dances, but he has some pretty sweet stuff for solo violin, and also his quartets are pimp.
15. Morrissey- here's a superfox for you! he too has a beautiful voice. Sing Your Life is a perfect song.
16. Shakira- I had my doubts about her after Laundry Service came out. But La Tortura uses the same heavy percussion and bass and syncopated rhythms that define rock en espanol, which is quite simply an awesome genre. so she's on the list, but only until her english language album comes out. donde estan los ladrones is an excellent album. basically, anything from her red hair years is good.
17. Talking Heads- excellent band, excellent music. In particular, Once In a Lifetime and Road to Nowhere.
18. Polyphonic Spree- this band is so good! it's a cult of happy! how could you not approve. look for La La in particular.
19. Stiff Little Fingers- Irish punk at it's finest. Alternative Ulster pretty much sums it up.
20. Ravel- French, but not like Debussy or Chausson or Faure. his violin stuff rocks, but how could you not like a piano concerto written for the left hand? his other piano work, concerto in g, is a great piece, too.

So there it is, my top 20 as of today. we'll see what it looks like tomorrow.

I love the Heights

2005-07-04T22:09:00.000-07:00

We had another Fitzpatrick 4th, driving around looking at fireworks. This year we didn't have to drive very far, we were only a few miles away. the explosions were so big! we could hear them from our house, it was very eery, like bombs or something. fun.

and ikea! we went today! and bought stuff! I LOVE IKEA. as we first walked up the stairs and turned the corner to the restaurant, i noticed a glorious sight: YOU CAN GET REGISTERED AT IKEA. I AM TOTALLY GOING TO DO IT, REGARDLESS OF IF I EVER GET MARRIED. EVERY BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS WILL MEAN REGISTERING AT IKEA. I LOVE IKEA.

I missed Jd's phone call while i was at ikea. we wouldn't have talked much, he only had about a minute left on his phone card. i kind of feel bad for him, because the tip of his dad's gorgeous, $20,000 bow broke off, and it's not like the bow broke in half, but if my dad was Dr. K, I would dread telling him anything had happened to his bow, and also, because he's rooming with chris carson for 3 weeks. i've been so cold to him for the last couple of months, i really thought we'd break up by the time he left for italy. he's a good guy now, but i remember the last time he went to italy, and what a jerk he was when he came back, and i regret not breaking up with him then, even though things are so much better now. i think about him in italy, and i get so mad at him for being such an asshole to me, no one else for goodness' sake, only me!, for the first 3 out 4 years i knew him, which isn't fair of me really, but i have a long memory.

ok, you know you're a good shopper when the most expensive thing in your outfit was your shoes, and they cost you $8.

my poor puppy, i think she's sick, she sleeps a lot more than usual, and when we go to play with her, she just mostly watches us. i want to take her to the vet, but everytime i mention it, my parents remind me of how expensive it is.

sexy cheesecake artwork is coming back, i saw it on an altoid's box in dyl's room the other day. that stuff in vinyl sells big on ebay.
speaking of vinyl, i have several friends who like to collect records, so here's a word of advice: don't buy it at music or book stores, try garage sales and thrift shops. you'll save a lot of money!
also, never put vinyl siding on your house!!!! when pvc is burned, it releases dioxin, THE SAME STUFF IN AGENT ORANGE. if your neighbor's house has vinyl, and it catches fire, you will probably die. people in vinyl-house fires die of inhalation long before the fire reaches them, usually in only a few minutes. and this stuff hurts the environment in every step in its creation, and there is no way to safely dispose of it. also, inhaling pvc particles practically guarantees that you will get angiosarcoma, which is usually rare, by a million percent. so think about that next time you see vinyl anything.

people are still shooting fireworks. better than guns like in the old neighborhood.

someone put in a bar across the street from fitzgerald's. stupid stupid stupid. now white oak will be perpetually clogged in traffic.

alright, i hope i have ikea dreams tonight.

Irish = foxy

2005-07-02T23:41:00.000-07:00

this well be a short post as it is again late and i am again tired.

basically, bono is a super-fox. whenever i hear his foxy voice over his foxy band's foxy music, i can't help but think, man, what a fox, this is some foxy music, how is it possible for so much foxy to be so concentrated in one place. foxy, even foxier than chrismartin and that other dude i think is foxy combined! i hear his perfect lyrics, and his perfectly perfect mix of irish suffering and foxy attitude in his voice, and i am reduced to a pile of foxy-worship. the edge wishes he could be half as foxy as bono. mmmm foxy! there is no denying the foxy power of songs such as beautiful day, desire, and my personal favorite, sunday bloody sunday.

i watched boondock saints finally. it was a good movie, but not as good as people had led me to believe. but give me a couple of irish accents and willem dafoe anyday, and i will be happy.

i wish jd was irish. then he'd have a foxy accent. man, irish is foxy, there is no denying it. i always dreamed of having a foxy irish lover and having foxy babies. foxy!

i've said foxy so much it's stopped sounding like a real word to me. that feeling always trips me up. foxy foxy foxy foxy. hee heee...

Wacka Wacka Wwwwwwaaaackkkkkka

2005-07-02T00:17:00.000-07:00

2 fricken o'clock in the morning. i am very tired. tiiiiiiireeeeed. but i am awake because i have no room, and my dad decided to clean the back closet at midnight, because the people coming over tomorrow are going to spend soooo much time in the closet and this is so useful right now and i want to sleep dernit. sleeeep sounds so goood.

i'm reading for whom the bell tolls. it too is good, much like sleeeeeep is. mmmmm, taaaaastyyy.

dyl dyl dyl = dumb dumb dumb duuuumb, why does he have friends, no one knows he is dumb da dumb dumb dumb.

eeee-steeeven, i am watching you! you are look4ni11111g45666666 over my shoulder, and i am watching you! WATCHING YOU! I AM LOOKING AT YOU AS I TYPE CREEPY CREEEPY C3REE6EP3Y3 3STO P TAHT NOW!!!

blergh!

o2stop
3stop
6s6otp666n6ow66d6a6m6nit!~!!!!

i bought two dress jackets for un2der $20 bucks today, i am soo cool. i look so awesome in my green poofy jacket i pwn you all . pwwwwn i saaaaaaaaaay!

iiiiitttt'ss fuunnnnnnnttttto hhhhhol2dddd oddddddddooooowwnnnnn onnnnnnn tttthhhheeee buuuuuttttttttton*******************sssss.

i intend to make a t-shirt. it will be an awes85ome t-shirt. it will be so awesome it rocks and pwns other shiirts. my shirt will say: it's a surpsroe, i'm not telling you . go away.

You know, you are really wasting your time reading my blog. s eriosuly, mylife is boring,a nd you should be working on a cure ofro cancer instead for reading htis crap. this blog in now way contributes to bthe betterment of humanity in any wya wh1atsoever. also, I AM A POMPOUS JERK. BOW BOW B/OW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW/.

***Hey, here's a news fla0sh: Bill0y White is a Mike JOnes fan. no way!!! YES WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PWN!

bily boy billy boy, bily boy billy boy. ave maaariiiiiiiiiiiiiia! (bach *pwns schubert/)*

it's shawpin, not chop'in.

it's shapin, +not showpan. bite me.

E-STEVEN QUIT BOTHERING ME. SMELLY SMELY SMLELLPOO.

DAD QUIT DUSTING THE DRUMGS KT AND GRACIE DON'T CARE HOW DUSTY OUR DRUMS ARE WHY YOU ARE CLEAINGN AT 2 IN GHE MORNING OUR HOUSE IS CLEAN ENOUGH WHY DYLAN IS BEDRIDDEN HE WILL NOT BE HANING OUT IN THE BACK THEY ARE BRINGING HIM A PRESENTAND WILL HOT BRING IT AND ABANDON HIM FOR THE BACK OF THO HOUSE THEY PROBABLY WILL5 LEAVE AND DO SOMETHING COOL LIKE GO TO THE DOLAR STOE AND POOP IN THE AILSE I WILL BE SO JEALOUS I WA5NT TO SLE25EP Q5UIT DUSTIN1G I HAVE0 ASTHMA1. 5AAAAAAAAASSSSSSST8HHHHHM8A8888888AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

i got liitle tiny bug feet, i don't really know what bugs eat.

it is my humblestopinpm that pinstripe is better than penguiner.

i don't think so.

i have a gimpy nose, gimpy nose, gimpy nose, i have a gimpy nose, all the livelong dya.

disney dreams disney deram, falling off the rollercoaster, kiiss it ikisstit kiss it now.

in ethpana, people etalk like thith.

i muth admit that the back of the houth lookth pretty good.

i deleted a lot of cookies today. take that google. i hate google. die google. THAT'S RIGHT GOOGLE, I 'M TELLING YOU TO CHOKE BUT I'M USING YOUR BLOG ENGINE! I'M A HYPOCRITE. I WANT TO DIE. JUST KEEIDING!!!!!

brushing is good for your internal organs.

encephalitis is no fun, encephalitis kills everyone, get your meningitis vaccine now, or you brain will bloat up like a cow.

vaaaaacuuuuuuum. .

this neighborhood is going to piot. poooooot.

abc is dumb dumb dumb. let whitey kick out blackey, and we'll film it! stupid.

2:36 and counting.

bumpersticker on the wall

tonight is a special night. tonight i brush with baking soda and hydrogen peroxide.

there is hydrogen chloride in my badck yard. oops.

liiiving like a bug aiin't eaaaasyyyyyy. myyy oooold clothes don't seeeem to fit meeeeeeeeeee.

faulkner shmaulkenr. just kidiing. i like faulkner. but not as much a si like you. wacka wacka wackha.

i hgot the west nile blues.

my band totally has a song, it's called yellow daisy and it rocks. and we no longer need a bass player because estevan is learing guitarron. boo-yah.

live 8, not live aid, get it right or pay the price. buy a wristband and feed a baby. i think i'll buy a goat instead.

my mom used to be poor. now she's a little less poor. actually, a lot less poor.

muyu muyu jmuwaringu. i wish i was peruvian. mexicans get no respect. neither do the irish.
dude, if i was greek, i would be fat. they have good cheese. i got some in my eye today, and it hurt a little. but not a lot.

oh daaaaany booooooooy. that's a funeral song. but it's not a dirge. get it got it good.

lightin hopkins use d to sip sissurp. now he's dead. coincidence? i think not. 5

2:45

and counting.

why are you still reading? why am ii stiiiiiiiil tttyyypinnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggg?

help me.

ok, mobloggin time, yes? no? yo?

on july 4th, planets collide! no, no illy, just a comet and a doodad. don't worry. fireworks! boom! i can 6see them from the backyard, but i can't smell them. just as 7well. fartworks. haahah. fart.8

9101234567899
8
i'm crotcheing a bag5. bag, baby, yeah!

sleeep sleepy slep elspe. 10:00 is awful early. 5i make no p8romises. suck it, trebek!

ok 2:47 almost done, no?

i want to learn german. ich bin ein iiidiot.

shuffles are stupid stup5id stup5di. buy a goat instead. - */i'am +sooooooo tired.+

i n+ed my+ hepa+tis +a shot+. i'+m going+ to d+ie++.+++ + ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++9

villa loobos, villa loobos, villa loobos, early in the morning. guitar. i like to play guitar, buy my hands go gimpy. so i can only strum chords, but thent hat hurts. so i stop. and whistle instead.

we should love like lovers do. lover where are you?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don'tt hakt things so seriosly you guys. il ike the smaking pumpkins. get over it. blah blah lbha

tape int he owindosw. you are a grump. weiner work! take your pisll, you olds fart.
happy hapy happy, sad sad sad
manic manic manic amnic manic mainic, deppresiiv sepd5rs4i4a4 v4idpe

i lost the ability to type.

where do you go, adondde, busca tu amor, where do you go oh oh eeh oh!

done!

2:53

shee/e/*t.

g'night.

Pooooop

2005-06-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

I got my financial aid award email the other day for UH. For the year, they would give me: $1500 grant, $2600 Work Study, and $2625 in subsidized loans, which means they don't charge interest until after I graduate. This plus my rodeo scholarship gives me about $4500, which should be more than enough since I wouldn't pay housing. So it's looking more and more like Houston, unless UNT gives me a ridicoulous amount of money, which isn't likely. I might get more, too, after I talk to my advisor. Right now only 9 hours transferred, but they haven't reviewed my Ap scores, and some of the hours they didn't count should transfer once I indicate a music minor. And sophomores can take out larger loans, so we'll see.

My parents are so poor right now it's not even funny. The IRS put a lien, so my mom is taking home $1000 per paycheck, which is how much rent costs. Stupid IRS, my dad talked to him, and the agent admitted the discrepancy was a result of their mistake, but he refused to fix it for some reason. And my parents might not get back the extra money they took. I am so pissed off that the goverment would do this to a family. I'm going to write my senator.

Dyllie Willie is sleeping. Man, he is a lot nicer when he's on drugs.

blah blah blah, worry worry worry

Help Me!

2005-06-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, I am taking a vote. Here is a list of potential engravings on a potential purchase; if the engraving is small enough, I will probably have either my full or last name engraved as well. You can vote yes, no, or maybe. I would also appreciate it if you gave one final vote as your overall most favorite. Also, if you have any suggestions for a cool quote or saying, please suggest! On the side of each song, I'm putting a running tally.

(these quotes were mostly taken from my favorite songs by my favorite bands, so some of them are quite dumb and i don't think i will consider them anymore.)

1. I Can Tell We're Going to Be Friends (1 no, 2 maybes)
2. S'Wonderful (1 no, 2 maybes)
3. Every Chance You Get Is A Chance You Sieze (2 nos, 1 maybe)
4. Green Eyes (2 nos, 1 yes)
5. You Want Me to Change I'll Change For Good (3 nos)
6. Don't You Shiver (1 no, 2 maybes)
7. Don't You Know It's A Beautiful Blue Day Hey (2 nos, 1 maybe)
8. All We Have Is Now (3 nos)
9. You Won't Let Those Robots Eat Me (2 maybes, 4 yes's)
10. Do You Realize?! (2 maybes, 1 yes)
11. Push The Little Daisies (1 no, 1 maybe, 1 yes)

Thanks!

I need a job!

2005-06-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

I need a job!!!!!! someone give me a job!!!! I don't care where, i'd even work at smoochee's if my parents would let me!!!!!!!

we took estevan to 59 diner the other day, it was perfect. right as they brought our shakes, the radio started playing duke ellington (the song, not the man), and it was perfect. mmmmmmm....

poor estevan, he hasn't had a real birthday since he was too young to remember them, because dyl's always been in surgery or i've been out of town, and this year is the same, he's really upset. i'm going to try to do something special with him, but that kind of thing is tough on a kid.

oh man, i hate mosquitos, i think i've got at least 15 bites at the moment. went to the park yesterday, oh man, it has the most beautiful view of downtown. i kept trying to take this touristy picture, but it didn't quite work. jd and i skateboarded down some hills, it was so fun. these old people kept giving us looks.

man, i'm going to be the most awesome old person ever. i'm going to act crazy and talk about weird stuff that old people aren't supposed to talk about and have a million cats even though i hate them. yes yes yes!

dyllie is playing is clarinet. i think i'll shove it in his bumhole when he's sleeping.

as soon as i switch my pcp, i'm going to go to a hearing specialist. my right ear has been really sensitive to any noise, not just loud, and even vibrations, like when i'm sititng in my car, and i'm starting to get really worried. it hurts al ot, and i think i have hearing loss 'cause i'm having trouble understanding jd on the phone. as if there wasn't enough wrong with me... ooh! i'm going to get musician earplugs and rock out!!!!

i'm going to get an electric violin, i just know it.

i wonder if people with hairy ears have better hearing...

i love the heights, i love my car. man! my car is so pimp! it is awesome. you have to use the trunk to unlock/lock it, and only one of the windows rolls down on it's own and it is pimptastic. your face wishes it could be my car, oh snap.

man! ikea is the place to be!!!! i love ikea! i'm going to work there and slowly move in and live there forever! yes yes yes!

Wank

2005-05-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

Oh man, where have these past 2 weeks gone? I seriously need a job. the library is hiring for $8 an hour, but the manager of the position has been disciplined by mom, so she probably isn't the best person to work for. but my mom's going to try to pull some strings and get me a job on another floor of the library, so that would be muy awesome.

dyl's asleep, i hope my typing annoys him. you know what, dyl bugs me all the time to go shopping. he's turning out to be a good shopping buddy, hahaha. i think i'll see if left-handed monkey is hiring...

ok, i've decided to order an ipod and not tell my parents. not because they're opposed to me getting one, but i think it would be funnier that way. don't tell, but dyl is planning on shaving his head the night before the surgery. shhh, don't tell.

i looked at my tmta music today, i'm so excited! it will be fun!!!!! i hope i get to do schlern next year, too.

if my damn shoulders weren't so weak, i'd stick with music. but i drew the short straw i guess, and i'm clueless about what to do. i think i need to go back to therapy.

man, i'm an awesome driver. dad's been asking dyl about my driving, apparently the bumper hangs crooked now, but i don't think it was me...

i'm too lazy to type, and i've reached my limit before my tendons inflame anyway, but there's always action on my moblog if you hunger for more awesome.

coldplay's coming to town!

Wank

2005-05-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

I had my theory final today. I think I aced it. Here's what the test entailed: modulation, secondary dominants, form (as in binary/ternary), and part writing. ALL STUFF I DID IN HIGH SCHOOL. And Dr. Groom doesn't let people test out. Which is why I hate the class, and why I think I aced the test. I hope I aced it...

I've been spending some good quality time in the library, stocking up on music before the summer. UNT has the most awesomest music library, it is ginormous, there must be 10,000 scores in there. And yet, I could not find a copy of romanian dances for violin. alto sax? yes. violin? no. siiiiiiiiiiigh.... I love that library, though, I think I will ask it to marry me, and if that doesn't work out, I will simply set up shop in there and never leave. Omg, that is the best library in the world, i'm excited just thinking about it. That library alone is a pretty good reason to study music here. Omg, now I'm thinking about the college of music and how awesome it is here, and i'm excited about that now. hee heee heeeeeeeeee.

jd saw yao ming the other day. true story! but not as cool as the time i saw john stossell. well, maybe.

packing is a bitch. i don't know where all this stuff is going to go when i get home because i don't have a room anymore, and the new house is tiny compared to the old one, but i love living in the heights. pancake parties here i come!!!!! i almost barfed today when i was cleaning my trash can, some gross brown gunk had accumulated on the bottom, it literally looked like shit, and i literally gagged.

ok, so today at work there must have been at least 10 people who came in or called because they didn't know when or where their final was. this information has been available since last semester, literally. and i would have helped them, except most of them couldn't tell me what class number they were in or who the professor was. some of them were even asking about finals given today. i wish i was kidding.
some kid bitched at me because i didn't know what books a professor uses, and i told him that information was available at the bookstore website or on the class syllabus; he started complaining about how much money he spends and how little materials he receives, which i know is a lie because i had just finished making at least 300 copies of powerpoint presentations for the class he was asking about. i can't wait for the day i become so bitter about work that i start spewing sarcasm at these turds. that's right buddy, my job does not entail thinking for you, talk to your professor and NOT THE RECEPTIONIST WHO ANSWERS PHONES AND MAKES COPIES AND KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ORACLE OR DATA MINING BECAUSE BUSINESS MAJORS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WORK IN THE COLLEGE OF BUSINESS, AND IF YOU HAVE BEEF, I WILL TAKE DOWN YOUR COMPLAINT, BUT NO I CAN'T GIVE YOU COPIES OF LAST YEAR'S FINALS SO DON'T BITCH AT ME, BITCH AT YOUR GENE POOL FOR MAKING YOU SO DUMB. seriously, who thinks they can get away with asking for last year's final? the final doesn't change that much, this isn't taas. i don't mind if they ask me questions about things i don't know, but seriously, don't tell me you don't even know what class you're in and expect me to take you seriously. also, if the sign says no assignments taken, then i cannot take your assignment because i will get fired. talk to your professor. and don't ask me if the final is hard. even if i could tell you, it wouldn't make a difference BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT ANYWAY. QUIT YOUR BITCHIN AND START STUDYING. and that's my rant for the day.

ok, group hug count: 5 hours and counting.

quote of the day: i'm a recessive gene. no lindy, you're not. you're a living organism, not the building block of such a thing.

also, my friend is swimming in the fountain on thursday, and i will be mobloggin it, so that's something to look forward to.

yeah!

There Goes the Last DJ

2005-05-06T17:52:00.000-07:00

So it's Friday, and thus begins my last weekend here at UNT. oh yeah! This next week is all I've been thinking about, and it should go by pretty fast. It is so hard to believe an entire year has passed by.

I still can't bring myself to read my jury sheets. Maybe tomorrow? Actually, my plans for tomorrow consist of this: spending the afternoon in the music library looking stuff up, then either checking it out so i can copy it to my computer, or checking it out so i can make copies at work. maybe i'll study. Actually, now that I think about it I'll probably pack and get ready to do all the cleaning they expect from us before we check out.

So, my dad has said some pretty racist things about hispanics, and i usually just attribute it to the fact that a)he's from a southern, white family; b)he feels like he can say them because in a way he's hispanic; c)my dad doesn't always have good judgement. And I was complaining about this to JD the other day, who then proceeded to refer to my mom as a wetback. So I'm super pissed off at him, and somehow through my rage i manage to infer that he really didn't realize that wetback is a big no-no, and this baffles me that he lives in houston, texas of all places, and was still so "sheltered" he had no clue that wetback is a derogatory term on par with the n-word for blacks, and then i wasn't as mad at him, but kind of sad; my mom might have been an illegal, but she was no wetback, and actually, she wasn't exactly illegal, depending on how you look at the bracero laws that applied to my family.
And it pisses me off that he complains about feeling like the minority in his own neighborhood, like somehow being white means you're entitled to being the majority. we live in texas for crying out loud! the spanish were here nearly 2 centuries before the pilgrims first so much as laid eyes on plymouth rock, so wouldn't it make a little sense that in this part of the country spanish is pervasive and there is a large hispanic population. and there is this implication that this is the result of illegal immigration, but hello, we live in a state who's named used to be spelled with the spanish letter 'j' (hota, not jay) and guess what, used to be part of a spanish-speaking country.
so i gave him a speech about why he needs to shut up about things he doesn't know about, and i think tonight i'm going to give him a speech about the importance of cinco de mayo for good measure.

drumline is on tv, what a dumb movie. he played his audition piece from memory! astounding! i guess i have no right to talk about memory, though...
oh man, i hate marching band so much. what a joke! i mean, it has it's place, but come on, marching band. that's like calling cheerleading a sport, ahahah, i'm such a turd. i have met so many marching band people who think they're so cool because they recognize rite of spring by stravinsky, yet these same people point out that his name is spelled wrong when they see it as strawinsky. hello, stravinsky isn't exactly an english name, maybe there are variations on how to spell it, right? maybe? i remember one time this girl went on and on about how she loved playing the pines of rome in band, and i made some comment about respighi, and said "who's that", i wish i was kidding. only band kids would say these things/be this dumb.

i saw a leprachaun today, and i took his picture. true story!

at work i introduced my coworker to grouphug, and i think we have spent probably 5 hours in this past week reading that stuff. it's crazy!

bah, for all my complaining, i think i'm going to miss denton.

One more day to go!

2005-05-03T14:48:00.000-07:00

I had my jury today. Therefore, if I can just make it through my sightsinging and piano finals tomorrow, i will be done with the semester, screw finals week.

I am ready to go home. I'm looking forward to san antonio, too, maybe i should send cliffy an email about that....

ooooh! i got paid today. i now have about $1500 in my bank account, enough for an new computer and maybe even a certain portable music playing device!!!
i'm gonna wait until i see how much financial aid i get next semester before i go to town, though.

i went to dallas with a friend the other day, what an awful town. big hair, big makeup, big heads with no brains. their freeways do look nice, i must admit, and it seems that their trains actually go places and manage to miss other vehicles in the process.

H stands for Hickle!

this blog is so boring, why do you people read it?

The End is Near!

2005-04-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

I'm at work right now. I'm just counting the days till the 30th (payday!). I like looking at my timesheets because it makes me feel better about myself.

I wrote an awesome letter to my senators last night. it is so awesome! maybe i will post it here after i type it up. awesome!

so i'm really nervous about juries. well, not really really. but enough. i wish i could feel like high school, where by the end i didn't care what chair i made, and ended up playing better on auditions. i don't mean i didn't care about rehearsals or anything; i was just so at peace with realizing that my best doesn't necessarily mean a high chair, especially at PVA. it made chair tests so much easier, and look where i ended up! so i'm trying to convince myself that juries aren't as scary as they seem, and it's not working. i might not even play a cadenza, and that drops my self-esteem, too. ooh, im' so scared, but after next week, i will be coasting. this whole muscolo-skeletal thing has had me down for the past year. it's true, so much of what you do is mental.

it's hard to believe an entire year has gone by. i miss high school so much, but i'm glad to be out.

let's see, today is the 26th, so 4 more days of april, plus 13 days of march, minus 4 days of weekend, means just 13 days of school left. yes yes yes!

i can't wait to go home. to my car! awesome!

it's hard to apply yourself when you're working more than you're schooling.

Yeah yeah yeah

2005-04-19T19:00:00.000-07:00

I swear, I saw an ice cream shop the other day advertising yellow snow. sounds like somebody slept through marketing 101.

the financial aid office is pissing me off and causing me undue stress. i received a loan for about $3000, it was sent directly to UNT. all my bills are paid for this semester, so I should get a refund of about $3000, but myunt says i get a refund of $1200. what?! somebody's going to get bitched at tomorrow, i hope they drink they're coffee in the morning because it's gonna be a long day by the time i'm through with them.

i have to say, though, i am so much more sympathetic to working people and university departments now that i have a job. the other day, somebody called because they had an advising appointment but were lost in denton. so i tried to confirm that they were looking for the ITDS department, and he kept saying, yes it's computer sciences, blah blah blah. then he gets irate with me when i tell him he's nowhere near campus, when i try to give him directions, when i try to find out who he talked to, so he yells at me and puts his wife on the phone, and it turns out they weren't looking for ITDS at all, but the engineering department, which is in research park, which means he was in the right place after all. which is why i asked him if he was and itds/bcis major within a minute of picking up the phone.
seriously, sometimes we get people in the office trying to drop a class, but they don't know the name, number, or professor of the course. uh, hello. what am i supposed to do with that? and how do you make it to april not knowing what class you're in?

so if the people at financial aid say they can't help me, i will be understanding as i raise my voice to scene-causing levels.

i read about aztec ritualistic sacrifice/cannibalism the other day. i think that could probably explain a lot about my personality. my mean, blunt personality, not the shy reserved briana. oh man, i'm so awesome.

Bah

2005-04-17T16:48:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty good birthday, much better than I expected. so woot.

I really really want to do music. I cannot imagine not being a musician. But it hurts to play more than an hour a day; even if I come back later to practice, my hands are still gimptarded, and it's pretty much a waste of time. I don't know what to do. And I've had this problem for almost 3 years now, progressively, so I don't think it's going to go away. i mean, there's days when i can't hold a fork to my face. sigh.

And I sent off my application a few days ago. I keep putting off making decisions. Changing my major? still haven't done it, probably won't for awhile. Telling Dr. Borodin about my physical inability to play? probably never will tell him; poor guy, he gets so frustrated with me. unt? if i stay, it's because of inaction, not because i decided to stay here.

i don't mean to be depressed, but that's been my mood lately. it kind of got started when my aunt died, and really got bad when my grandpa died, especially with all the turmoil of my so-called "family." there's at least 3 branches of fitzpatrick's i will never talk to again. then all this music crap on top of it. i'm ready to quit school and become a hermit. i guess people think that because i'm so goofy or strange sometimes, i don't really care about anything or am not affected by anything. and for the most part, i can be pretty strong and easygoing, but i have my moments, and people are surprised by that, i guess.

i don't know, i did get chocolate in the mail today, so maybe the next post will be happier.

My love/hate relationship with UNT

2005-04-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

sigh.

The Most Awesome Day Ever

2005-03-25T23:05:00.000-08:00

Today, a most wonderful thing happened to me, one that I could never have foretold.

It all started when afternoon classes were cancelled. (An aside: Dear Gov. Perry: No one is surprised when you decide to cancel classes on Good Friday. In fact, most of us expected it. So why don't you make it official beforehand, instead of at about 11:59 am the morning of, so some of us don't spend 30 minutes walking around campus because the building they work in is locked up for the day. thank you, jackass.)
I took a long nap, much needed as I am suffering from a severe sinus infection, and have been walking around like a zombie pretty much all day. Then I decided to partake in the fresh air, against my allergies' screaming protests, and read a book outside. Ah! But the sky had darkened with the presence of rain-clouds, so the assault on my sinusoidal cavities was not as debillitating as it could have been! score 1!!!!
Then I go inside and check the dinner menu. Lo and behold, Bruce is serving one of my favorites: spinach mushroom quiche! Score 2!!!
So I walk to Bruce, and as I pass the music building, I remember that this one outstanding violinist is supposed to give a recital that night. I hope that it starts at 7 and not 6, and proceed to Bruce, thinking that if they would serve that deliciously rich chocolate pudding, this day would be perfect.
So I get in line for food, ask for quiche, and the server asks if I would like 1 or 2 slices; usually they only give you 1 and make you get up for 2nds! I seize the opportunity, asking for not 1 but 2 slices of quiche. Then I make my way down and what golden treasure lies before my very eyes but chocolate pudding! And it's in the vegetarian line, which means it's soy chocolate pudding, WHICH IS EVEN MORE AWESOME THAN REGULAR CHOCOLATE PUDDING!!!!!
I quickly grab 2 bowls of pudding, then proceed to devour with ravenous speed the feast that has been laid before me.
Next, I head to the music building, where I discover the recital is at 6:30, perfect timing, and proceed to hear the best performance I have ever heard of both Romanian Dances and the Handel-Halvorsen Passacaglia. This chick was amazing, and very pregnant. By the end of the Passacaglia, I was hoping that her baby would not end up being manic depressive.
I then went to the practice rooms, where my goal was to really really shape the first phrase of my solo. I only got through the first measure, but it was still the most productive practice I have had since starting the thing, so I'm pleased.

And thus concludes my day of glory!!!!

ps. 98 on sightsinging midterm. i rizzock.

Blah Blah Blah

2005-03-24T19:00:00.000-08:00

I'm so exhausted. That's what 13 hours of class and 16 hours of work will get you.

I had an adventure today: I mixed my whites with my colors with my darks! AND NOTHING BLED! IT WAS SO AWESOME!

laundry will never again be the same...

Thank you to Meredith for getting my meat and salsa.

Thank you to God for giving us Friday's. or should i be thanking Pope Gregory?

the search for a major continues and i'm running out of time. i need to get advised sometime within the next 2 weeks. i'm thinking of going undecided for a semester and finishing my core classes. crap crap crap crap crap...

i love music. and soy milk.

1000 Invitations

2005-03-23T20:23:00.000-08:00

Silence greeted me as I entered the recessed suite, a misty void in a building full of probability. I set my belongings softly on the floor, taking care not to ensnare my dangling baubles in the corners of my sweater. I turned the corner and faced the thousand sheets of paper waiting for me, and the machine that was to aid me in my journey. It would be another hour, however, before an offer would be made to me that would enlighten my mind as to the hollow tedium such a chore could entail. The thousand papers multiplied into 4000, and I found no end to the great embarking I had undertaking, and now I can only anticipate what the morrow may bring.

dude, once you have soy, you never go back.

2005-03-22T13:14:00.000-08:00

Oh man. Jazzman's cofee is crap, but you shouldn't be drinking cofee anyway. Buy the walnut coconut brownie instead. It is huge, and oh so rich, for only a $1.50. yeah!

we're on the road to nowhere, come on inside...

I had to call the popo at work yesterday, this couple started fighting in the hall, and the guy shoved her into a wall. i think everything's ok now, though.

I hate computer's so bad.

Hey, guess what the only high school in HISD to receive a federal national excellence award was? but i thought they were all a bunch of cheaters. turd turd turd turd turd turd.

So here's my adventure of the day: the wind up here is wicked like you wouldn't believe. i felt like i was walking uphill all day. in fact, i'm pretty sure i was pretty horizontal at some point.

death and the maiden death and the maiden death and the maiden.

the internet gives me add. hey according to webmd, i have add. or is it addhd or hdtv or who knows what.

i wish my dad would open up a record shop. lord knows he has enough product to do so.

i have this mosquito bite on my foot that itches real bad, but it feels oh so good when i walk because it rubs against my shoe, which isn't good for bites, but feels oh so good.

blah blah blah blah blah, says the cow.

2005-03-20T19:50:00.000-08:00

Back in Denton. I liked Denton before I left, but now I can't wait to get out of here.

ummm, yeah. my mom says i can move back in next year if i need to. now that i'm back at unt, i don't know if i should or if i even want to.

spring break is fun. i took so many pictures, i don't know how many i'll get to post. i miss my family. especially my brother/sister.

i'm going to start a band this summer, and it will rizzock. yeah!

i guess that's it for now. i'm tired. and hungry. as always!

2005-03-13T19:02:00.000-08:00

Man, I'm back for a week! And I'm allergic to Houston. Seriously, I have had allergies like you wouldn't believe, which is strange since I'm outside more in Denton. My mom thinks it's all the fine particulates in the air smuggling my lungs. ah, ozone...

I'm so excited about seeing the symphony concert on Tuesday. I miss symphony so much, pva is the awesome. I love living in the Heights now, also. It's so much closer to everything cool, except for Tookies, but that's ok. We have Someburger now. This house is pretty rocking, too, especially the sink hole in the back yard. rock!

The last few weeks have been spectacular, I must say, and here are the reasons why:
I saw the albino squirrel
Payday
I'm making really good grades
I'm rocking Mozart to the max
SPRING BREAK
I was an editor's pick
I'm seeing all my friends
My infinite awesomeness is so infinite
Flaming Lips EP

Here's a story about the Flaming Lips EP: I went to Best Buy with a budget of $8, so I figured I'd walk out empty-handed; also, it takes a lot for me to purchase a cd, I have to really really want it, unless I have a gift card, then I'll buy anything. Lo and behold, before me sits a Flaming Lips EP with not one but two hard to find songs, a cover of Can't Get You Out of My Head and Thank You Jack White for the Fiber Optic Jesus that You Gave Me, that are so awesome and which rock my socks. for the low price of $9.99. I promptly bought it, and it proceeded to rock my socks off, thus making this the best purchase of my life.

Three Cheers for Spring Break.

2005-02-24T20:14:00.000-08:00

Man, I rock so hard it's not even funny. seriously, that's how hard I rock.

And now for my rant of the day/week/wheneveriupdate:

NHL, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU! SERIOUSLY, WTF!!!!

I'm sure we all remember the baseball lockout of just a few seasons ago, and what a crappy situation that was (i hate baseball, for the record). But nooo, the NHL, a far superior sport (the blood and vomit bounce! it bounces on the ice!!!), decides to outdo MLB and CANCEL THE WHOLE FREAKING SEASON! THIS HAS NEVER BEEN DONE IN ANY MAJOR SPORTS LEAGUE, NEVER, AS IN THIS IS THE FIRST TIME A SPORT HAS LOST AN ENTIRE SEASON TO STUPIDITY!!!!

Perhaps you guys were not looking at the consequences of your actions, so I will point them out to you, as I am that kind.

First of all, this is an unprecedented act; nobody knows how this will resolve, and it is highly probable that it won't be pretty. Let's face it, hockey is just a step above soccer in this country, and the fact that an entire season was canceled, never mind the lockout, does not bode well for the future.

2nd of all, the European leagues and, most troublesome of all, Russia, is pouncing on the opportunity. 338 of our players are now in European leagues, which are offering them lucrative contracts and the certainty of having a job next year. Russian leagues, the only ones that can do so, are going as far as to offer the NHL money- the NHL, mind you- for our players. Our players! What do you think the NHL will say to this, when they have no idea if there will be hockey next season? Not only that, but these players will probably also be offered tax breaks in whatever country they're playing in to make the already sweet deals that much sweeter. Let me stress this: the players are being millions more and job security, which is more than the NHL can promise after this disappointing turn of events.

3rd point: Remember a little something I like to call the World Hockey Association? That's right, nobody does. BECAUSE IT SUCKS! IMAGINE IF THE AFL WERE TO EAT THE NFL AND POOP THE LEFTOVERS ALLOVER THE FANS, THEN OFFER SECONDS TO EURASIA. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THE WHA BECAME THE LEADING HOCKEY LEAGUE IN THIS COUNTRY! Not only that, but there's a reason why the 2nd hockey league of the 70's went extinct. a very good reason.

Last but not least: Saddest of all, but not even The Great One, who volunteered after the season was canceled to go in and try to mediate between the league and the union in order to resucitate the season, couldn't save the game. IT'S A SAD DAY WHEN NOT EVEN WAYNE GRETZKY CAN SAVE HOCKEY. WAYNE GRETZKY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WAYNE GRETZKY!!!

And I'm spent, but not for long... Less than stellar. Very less than stellar.

In other news, the Hunter S. Thompson is the 2nd of my favorite author's to kill himself in the last year. I don't know what this means, but I'm sure it says something about my tastes in literature.

2005-02-11T09:54:00.000-08:00

Man! you can tell i was upset in my last post because i mentioned tchaikovsky without using the words "big" or "gay"

I had the most awesome lesson last night, i played so well, but this morning i woke up and my shoulders were killing me; i had trouble raising a spoon to my face at breakfast, so no practicing today.

2 years is longer than you realize.

i'm so homesick, it wasn't this bad last semester. i really miss my family. valentine's treats are in the mail!!!

i guess things are going well here. no roomate = lots of fun, i can do whatever i want. last night we had a tornado drill. i didn't think anything about it until the hall director came out and said that next time, it would be real, and we should bring a book and a pillow since we'll probably be down there for a while. hurricanes, i can handle. tornados, i think not.

so my family's moving this weekend. i wish i was there! i'd kick everybody in the butt, just to let them know i love them. you know, i still think about my grandpa alot, and at seemingly random times, too. then i turn into this big weepy baby. i miss my family so much!

i don't know, this whole hand thing has got me down, but it's getting better.

2005-01-28T18:13:00.000-08:00

ok. so my hands hurt alot. alot alot. all the time alot. they're tingly, and after tingly comes numb, and once you get to that point, there's no return. so i went ahead and quit orchestra today. my conductor literally threw a fit when i told her i was leaving; she started whining, kind of like i do sometimes, and i felt really bad. i don't know if she understood that it was health related, because she was in a hurry and might not have been listening very well, and she's from Taiwan and has trouble with english sometimes; i think all she heard was, i'm not playing anymore. i felt so bad!

and yesterday i had a lesson. i planned out what i was going to say, but i got there a few minutes early, and stood outside the door listening to the girl before me. she was playing the fuga movement from the first bach sonata, and it was so beautiful, and i love that piece, then i started thinking about this performance i saw of the tchaik violin concerto and this paganini caprice and a saint-saen concerto, and how perfect they played and how beautiful the music was and how their performances literally moved me, and i know i'll never play as well as these kids did, but it was so sad to think i might have to stop violin forever. i never intended to completely give up music.
so i get in there and dr. borodin is asking me questions about my piece and if i like it, and i almost started to cry right there in front of him, and i don't cry in front of people very often. so then he tells me to play and it takes me forever to start the first chord, and i know it's just mozart and not the tchaikovsky i heard in studio class, but i want to play well, and i did, so i almost started to cry some more because i know that if i stop taking lessons this semester, i probably won't be back in the music department next semester at all, even though i planned on at least taking lessons or at least auditioning for symphony. so i didn't have the strenght to say hey dr. borodin i'm not taking lessons this semester anymore.
then i called jd and cried on the phone to him, which made me feel even worse because he couldn't really comfort me and was jealous of the kid who played tchaikovsky because it moved me, and stamitz didn't.
stamitz = blech

and now i'm upset because if i'm going to drop these classes, i want my money back, and i'm afraid my doctor's note won't arrive in time for the refund deadline, and i'm also worried that if i drop them, i'll lose my scholarship for not taking enough hours and get kicked out of the dorms for not taking enough hours.

i'm still playing in quartet, but only until they find a new violinist. i didn't want to let them down. plus i need music somewhere, i can't just stop so suddenly.

i'm pissed off at the young conservatives here, too. i understand the importance of free speech, but i wish they wouldn't get the university administration involved when others use their free speech right to protest their protest. my friend sent an email to LULAC Dallas about it. He got a reply from the Washington headquarters, so maybe these young conservatives will think next time they feel the need to make fools of themselves.

i feel like i cheated on music, and then music said he loves me anyway, but then i dumped him. and i was planning on changing my major anyway, but people here didn't understand why, which is ok, but they don't understand why i'm so upset about quitting lessons, since i was going to change my major anyway, but they can't understand because they didn't go to pva and they don't know what it's like to play great pieces in a great ensemble and what it really means to be a musician or an artist. it's not just playing music, it's so much more, and i hope they get it somewhere in their 4 or 5 years here because i got it, and it was amazing, which is why it's so upsetting to have to stop.

on the brighter side, i have a job now. it's in the college of business, information technology and decisions sciences, or ITDS as those of us in the biz like to refer to it. I don't even know what ITDS is or does, but they're paying me $6.50 an hour, which means an ibook by summer if I don't spend any of it. ha.

2005-01-13T15:13:00.000-08:00

Ay... H'ok, so I am getting new violin case. I hope this one lasts; 2 of the zippers, the clasp, and 2 of the bow holders broke on my last one.

I leave in 2 days. I don't want to go back.

2005-01-12T16:23:00.000-08:00

Ok, so the phone rings in the middle of the day today, and my dad picks up, and a few minutes later, he's getting ready to go pick up Estevan because he threw up at school. Hmm, that's weird, I say, he seemed fine last night. Yes, my dad concurs, he seemed fine this morning, as well!

So later the phone rings again, and it's Estevan asking me if I want them to bring me anything for lunch. He then proceeds to tell me how he was in the bathroom at school, and he was trying to make himself burp, but he accidentally threw up instead. For this he got to leave school early and spend the afternoon playing video games.

2005-01-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

Stupid HISD Stupid Houston Chronicle piece of crap stupid stupid stupid...

What? HSPVA's test scores are too high? There must be cheating? WTF YOU CRAPHEADS!!!! Hmmm, let's think about this for a moment here:

2 years ago, Texas decides to start replacing TAAS with TAKS, but not before you give some sample TAKS to students to work out bugs. Fine. But you give the tests to juniors and seniors in high school who had already fulfilled their graduation requirements by passing TAAS in their junior year. This means that the TAKS these students took had no standing on their graduation, college, and NEVER SHOWS UP ON THEIR PERMANENT RECORD.

Hmmm, I'm a junior at the High School for the Performing and Visual Arts who already knows that I've filled HISD's graduation requirement by passing TAAS and taking all the required classes. I know that I am graduating, and not only that, I had previously thought that I was done with standardized tests forever. Heck, let's say I'm a senior in high school; I probably already know what college I am going to and am trying to figure out what to pack.

What? I have to take another test over the period of several days? It doesn't count against me? It doesn't count for me either? Not only that, but I have a buttload of homework/projects/papers/tests/art to prepare for that I and the teachers are going to lose precious class time for in order to adminster a test that has been shown to not be a measure of my intelligence nor the school's ability to educate? AND YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY?

Hmmm, work through 200 of the same questions that the TAAS has shoved at us since the 3rd grade and write an essay about a patriotic emblem (*actual essay topic, to the best of my memory!!), or halfass my way through the exams, finish early, and have a couple of hours of freetime while others are finishing their exams. And remember, this test does not count in anyway whatsoever! Let's see, I think I'll read every question twice, deliberate, and choose to the best of my ability, because I love wasting my time with worthless exams!!! (that was sarcasm, for you naive).

I know of two people who actually didn't write essays, by the way. One of these kids got a full scholarship to Baylor University, and the other is a student at Rice University, probably majoring in Smart. One of these guys wrote a strongly worded letter to whoever is in charge of TAKS about the stupidity and waste of money in not only changing from TAAS to TAKS, but to administer these tests in the first place. The other drew a smiley face and called it a day. (True story! I shit you not!!!!)

So now, two years later, when the exams do count, HISD is surprised because our test scores have improved, so much so that you're concerned about cheating? Did it ever occur to you that perhaps the students taking the test last year might have had reason to apply themselves, and actually attempt to do a decent job (not that you have to attempt very hard for these tests)? Yes, cheating must be the reason, nevermind the fact that these students probably want to graduate and, oh yeah, NEED TO PASS IN ORDER TO DO SO!!! Let's also overlook the fact that this is a performing arts high school, and that artistic people have been shown by science, which is probably a fairly objective party, to do better in the kind of math, reasoning, and logic that these tests try to measure. While we're at it, let's completely ignore the fact that this school consistently sends kids to the top ranked universities, in arts AND ACADEMICS, and PVA students are regularly recognized by the government as well as other institutions for their outstanding achievements. Gosh, they probably cheated their way to the top there, too, let's investigate!

And $20,000 + (there's a cap at $60,000) bonuses for administration officials who improve test scores? Maybe you should look there before you jump on the school as being the source of the problem. $20,000 + is a ridiculous amount to pay officials who have very little to do with educating and preparing students for these exams and in other areas. If you're so worried about improving test scores, why don't you take the $7 MILLION YOU SPEND ANNUALLY ON SCORE-RELATED BONUSES, AND GIVE IT TO TEACHERS WHO DESPERATELY NEED SCHOOL SUPPLIES AND ACTUALLY DESERVE A LITTLE PAY RAISE, AND TO SCHOOLS TO DEVELOP THE KIND OF PROGRAMS THAT HAVE BEEN SHOWN TO HELP KIDS MAINTAIN FOCUS AND IMPROVE IN THEIR ACADEMIC STUDIES, like, gasp!, arts programs! It's so crazy, it just might work!!!!!

I am seriously considering copying and pasting this, and emailing it to the Houston Chronicle, and any city official whose email address I can get a hold of. Only thing is Mrs. Bonner would probably get on me for being so crass and illbred. I don't even attend this school anymore, and I am so pissed off at stupid HISD for being so unbelievably i-can't-even-think-of-a-word-to-describe-their-stupidity.

2005-01-05T00:21:00.000-08:00

I still don't know what college I want to attend or what I want to major in.

Chocolate mousse is yuuuuummmmm!!!!

2005-01-02T18:19:00.000-08:00

I love my family in the valley so much.

Bosconian is the coolest game ever, and it kicks Galaga's ass, hands down, and if you disagree, then you must prepare to die.

2004-12-29T01:05:00.000-08:00

It's fricking 3 in the morning! Why am I still up?!

2004-12-28T20:20:00.000-08:00

I am going to the valley tomorrow! It is going to be so much fun! It is 80 degrees there. 80! I'll get to wear shorts! yay! I love visiting my family down there, we always get a bunch of firecrackers, and those people are crazy. You can definitely tell we are related. Ah, I can't wait...

2004-12-27T17:54:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I already knew that Home Movies is the greatest cartoon of all time ever. But it just grew infinitely in coolness: Mitch Hedberg played a voice on several episodes. Awesome!

2004-12-27T00:53:00.000-08:00

Today was fun. I went to fry's (100 jewel cases for $10! $10!!!!!) and tookies, so it was bound to be a great day.

Ah, I think I'm in love. No, I know I'm in love. I wonder what I shall name it... See the object of my affection here: http://lazy-ana.textamerica.com

le swoon...

2004-12-24T23:02:00.000-08:00

Dude, my Dad is constantly impressing me with the amount of knowledge he has about records and vinyl in general. He can spout off the most disparate facts!

It snowed after all, a lot more than I thought we would get. The valley, incredibly, got even more snow than we did! It was nice to see, especially having Estevan around, who'd never seen snow before, but I still stand by my assertion: snow is overated. But I guess if you're gonna get snow, it's better to get it like we did this year, instead of like those Christmases in El Paso when you'd have inches and inches. Let me tell you, there's nothing like snow in your underwear...

I don't really have much to say tonight. other than Home Movies rocks! Tha'ssss right!

Merry Christmas and etc.

2004-12-23T23:53:00.000-08:00

So the weather service said snow flurries after midnight, and here I am at 1 in the morning, and nothing yet. That's ok, snow is overrated anyway. I'm pretty certain is mispelled overrated. And misspelled.

H'ok, so our Christmas tree looks really nice. I surprised myself by getting people gifts this year. It's not that I like being a scrooge, but I just feel like I'd rather get someone a gift because I was thinking about them and found a special gift for them, not because capitalism says so. Although I am a fan of capitalism (to an extent. just enought to not consider myself a communist/socialist/fascist.)

Speaking of snow, it did in Arlington a few days ago. I missed it by a week. boo and bah.

My former roomate wrote a nice little entry about me on the internet. You can see it here: www.xanga.com/rollerchick86. I wasn't hurt or offended as much as I was surprised that she didn't write something like that about me before now. I mean, it's not like nobody didn't see it coming. I'm also baffled by a couple of the things she wrote, mostly when she called me jealous and a backstabber. I think she lives in this kindergarden world where everybody has to be everybody else's friends, and we're all required to like each other, regardless of what our personalities are really like. If that's the case, she's going to be in trouble when she gets in the real world and has to deal with all kinds of people of all kinds of persuasions. I really honestly think it never occured to her before now that not everybody she meets is going to like her.
And another thing, you know, Michelle and I certainly didn't get along, and I don't blame her family if they don't exactly consider me welcome anymore. But my Dad never did anything to hurt or offend her or her family, he always treated them with kindness and sat through hours of her dad explaining his computer network setup. And when we were moving out on the last day of the semester, he said hello to her dad and waved and was trying to be polite and decent, and her father completely ignored him and acted as if he wasn't even there. My Dad never did anything to them! If they're upset at me, be upset at me, but don't take it out on my Dad, who was nice to them no matter what! That is really upsetting that they would be that childish as to take out their anger with the situation on someone who wasn't involved at all. I'm just glad it's over.

Speaking of kindergarden, have you ever thought about what a creepy word that is? Kinder. And Garden. Think about it...

Oh! And JD gave me season 1 of Home Movies for Christmas! I almost gave him the same thing, but frugality won out and I bought him something cheaper. But that is an awesome gift! He's the best!

H'ok, goodnight and happy holidays everybody. Really.

2004-12-18T23:28:00.000-08:00

Bah! Houston is so warm compared to Denton! soo nice!

Tomorrow Dyl and Dad are going house hunting. I hope they find something nice, our deadline for moving is January 4th. My family is a big butthole full of crap.

Baby Ellis is so cute! The party was fun, I miss my pva friends! I'm so glad I get to be home for an entire monthish. ach, i am going to relax...

I have a gig tomorrow, i may or may not be paid $100. If not, that's understandable considering I didn't attend one of the rehearsals, but hey, Dr. Evans said I could play anyway, so there. I think he mostly wanted me so he wouldn't feel so bad about putting JD in the violas and leaving the 2nds with JJ and Little Jaime. Bah, the music is so full of cheese! It's ok, it's cute though. I'm playing for the gay methodist church in Montrose. As kt put it, it's a choir full of men and butch women, or, as her mom put it, a men's chorus.

Ok, I just heard estevan say, a frosty, just what I need. it's almost 1 in the morning, and he's suppposed to be in bed. ay, i missed being home!

2004-12-16T13:56:00.000-08:00

So close to the end! I will be home tomorrow! yay!!!!! Just a physics final to go, ay...

and good news! My roomate is moving out! yay!!!! Man, I have so many horror stories. The other day, she was asleep and I was sitting at my computer (it was about 10 in the morning), and she was snoring, with her mouth open, so all of her morning breath just hovered around my desk. It smelt so bad! Dude, she snores so much, I have had so many sleepless nights. And the frustrating thing is you can't really do much about a thing like snoring, although that is not the only reason why I am so glad she's leaving. She was the most rude, inconsiderate, judgemental person I have met in a long time. She was so biased and derisive, and just lacked common sense. She insulted my parents after they drove for 6 hours to see their daughter, then she insulted their daughter! WTF? And I've never seen a person who actually believed in as many stereotypes as she did. Then she would turn around and say things like, I hate when people judge me before they know me. Hello? Have you seen yourself lately? She was just the height of ignorance.
So, I'm looking forward to having the room to myself or getting a new roomate! Yay for this!

I spent the weekend in Arlington with a friend, it was pretty fun. If you want to know about it, you can ask me. Poop! Her mom sent some bulbs with me to take home, That was nice.

Ok, I am tired and sick and anxious, so I think I'm going to step away from blogger right now before I give myself a little heart attack with anxiety. Home! Tomorrow! WOOT!

2004-12-08T11:12:00.000-08:00

Bah! My jury is tomorrow. I'm not nervous yet, which worries me. Bah! After tomorrow, though, it should be smooth sailing. I didn't have any finals today, so I had the day off, which was nice. It's fun to sleep in on a weekday.
I'm getting addicted to that facebook nonsense. It's so smart, it tells me things I didn't know before!
I can't wait to come home. ooh yeah!

2004-12-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

Bah! I got a 93 on test 2 for MUMH! Rock! Ach, and my paper turned out pretty well, I think, I won't know the grade for a while. Oh man, but my paper was so good! I hope they like it.

Juries in 2 days. aieeee!!! I think it will be ok. I just need to not let myself get nervous.

I am ready for break. I never had problems with my friends at home, but here we're all starting to bug each other, probably because we see each other so much. I don't like being around people a lot anyway, but it's hard to avoid in a dorm...

I have so little patience for stupidity. So many people complain about my MUMH class, but the majority of these people don't take notes on reading assignments (or read for that matter), don't take notes in class on anything other than the powerpoint slides (hello, it's called powerpoint for a reason, just because there are little bullets doesn't mean the stuff on the slides is thorough, you have to pay attention to the lecture to understand what a slide that says "Rhythm" is referring to), and have a closed-minded attitude toward the material in general. Well yeah, the class is difficult if you have a hostile attitude toward it and the professor. sheesh, I don't understand why people still expect to be babied through college.

Bah, my roomate doesn't talk to me anymore except to ask me for answers to homework. Not help with homework, like explaining concepts, but answers. I have little patience for this either.

I kind of had a little argument with a friend about that earlier, too. She wanted to know what cadence IV to V is. She asks me this question every single time there is a homework assignment, but doesn't study or try to commit it to memory unless there's a test tomorrow. I told her to look it up. Then today she wants to know if ii is diminished in a major key or not for an assignment due today. She wasn't asking for help, like why is ii diminished, she wanted the answer for an assignment at the last minute. I don't have patience for people who take advantage of the fact that I've studied theory before. And yes, I studied, I didn't just wake up one day knowing tonal degrees and how to resolve secondary dominants; I put in my years of work to get to this place, and I don't appreciate people who don't bother to do the same and then complain that I don't help them.

Bah to this university and the people in it! (with a few exceptions)

2004-12-03T21:39:00.000-08:00

I saw Kinsey today; it was a pretty good movie, but not as good as I expected. But it was pretty good.

Ach! Finals start next week! Juries are next week too! ACH!

I think I'm starting to get sick. I hope so. Then I'll have a fun gift for the whole family! hahahhahaha

I am tired of complaining about everything

2004-12-01T11:54:00.000-08:00

So I was in the practice building yesterday, and somebody was being so inconsiderate of his peers and practicing in the hall. Hello! Even if you don't have a key, many rooms are left unlocked, pick one and get in it! Sound leaks easily enough when people stay in their rooms, wtf do you need to make it worse by practicing in the hall. I think it was a flute, too, ugh. How rude!

So I realized today that 2 of my classes each have more people in them than my entire graduating class. And that's my deep thought of the day.

I like Muse.

2004-11-28T15:01:00.000-08:00

Back in my dorm room. sigh...
Man, it's chilly here. I like it!

Ok, I'm starting to get nervous about my research paper. I have not done enough research, and I think I'm citing my sources incorrectly, and I just want this paper overwith! I need to buckle down... On the other hand, I got an A+ on my paper proposal, so that's a good sign. I'm just nervous about this paper!

2004-11-28T09:48:00.000-08:00

Bye bye Houston! bye bye everybody! Ach, I don't want to go back. But the last day of classes is Dec. 17th, so it's less than a month until I return again. woot!

2004-11-27T16:02:00.000-08:00

Ach! I leave tomorrow, I don't want to go back. Noooooooooo!

2004-11-26T09:36:00.000-08:00

I am dreading writing this paper for MUMH. ay, twill be shite. I got an A+ on my paper proposal, though, which is awesome! I hear that raises your grade by a letter, but we'll see. I'm doing pretty good in that class, anyway. And I'm feeling pretty confident about that test we had on Tuesday. I don't know what to change my major to. Tis shite. I wish I'd gone to a "good" college.

Time is moving too quickly. It's sad.

2004-11-25T16:13:00.000-08:00

I am so lazy, it is not even funny. So lazy.
I like winter. It makes me feel all cozy inside. mmmhmmm.

2004-11-24T23:19:00.000-08:00

Ellis is so cute! Mmmm, thanksgiving = yum! I love cranberries! Now that I'm home, I don't want to go back. I miss everybody here too much.

2004-11-23T23:38:00.000-08:00

I'm home! Estevan is talking to me, but I'm not paying attention. I can't really understand what he's saying, anyway.

So I had a fun airplane ride. I had to take off my shoes again; that makes 4 out of the last 5 flights! The flight was delayed a little leaving Dallas because there was bad weather. And then, about an hour into the flight, when we should have been landing in Houston, the pilot comes on and says, we should expect turbulence when we get to Houston because there was bad weather there, too. He then proceeds to say, we are to the right of Austin. Austin = not on the way to Houston. Apparently, we also flew near Laredo and San Antonio, which are definitely not on the way to Houston from Dallas. The 55 minute flight lasted about an hour and a half or more. But it's all good! I got my luggage, and I'm home for a bit, so yay.

Jd's parents invited me to go to their boat tomorrow, but I cannot on account of a partay! I hope Jd doesn't tell them my reason for not going; they might be miffed by my actions.

If you're ever flying on Southwest into/outof Love Field, look for the Dreyer's stand; best ice cream ever!

2004-11-22T11:28:00.000-08:00

I packed my bags this morning. Tomorrow I should be at the airport at this time! hee heee....
but only if I survive my MUMH test. shite.
times 3.

I had a funny story, but I forgot it.

2004-11-21T20:53:00.000-08:00

Things are getting more and more stressful around here. It feels like high school again! ahahaha, high school was so much harder than college. I actually learned things there, too.

Ok, just because I joke about how I never have money to do things doesn't mean I'm destitute, ok? So you don't need to walk around telling people that I can't go with you to Walmart because I can't afford it, thank you very much. And I'd rather have to cut back on some goodies knowing that the money I do have came from scholarships that I earned with my 4.025 gpa and 1390 SAT (although I'm kind of disappointed with my sat score), than have to call my parents everytime I need something. No really, it really does feel good to be able to do things on my own and not have to call somebody everytime I have a little trouble with something. Poor is not being able to buy your children medicine, not not being able to buy a $300 gadget that does the same thing as a $5 dayplanner.

Just 3 more days until I'm home! I can't wait. 3 of the last 4 times I've flown I've been sent through the terrorist line. Any theories why?

I'm pretty happy. The leaves are changing, the weather is beautiful cold, drizzly weather (I love it!), and I'm gonna see my loved ones soon. I was reading my little autograph book that people signed at my senior recital and at the end of the school year, and people wrote some ridiculously nice stuff in there. Like, I can't imagine anyone saying those things about anybody, much less me. But it made me feel so good to read them. Ah, the people at PVA are the best.

2004-11-20T18:33:00.000-08:00

I went to see Andrew Tinker's band, The Goodnights, tonight at Andy's Bar. The first band super sucked; sample lyrics include "they said you were just a waitress, but to me you are a queen, and I am just a busboy" and "if i were a tree i'd pine for you." ay.
But The Goodnights were so good! I mean, they're music was good, but they put on a good show too! Tinker really worked the crowd, it was awesome. Except that now I smell like smoke and probably have mutated genes or chromosomes or something.

My friend Alicia and I started an hardcore acoustic emo punk band. Awesome! Look for some shitty music heading your way! My stage name is Susie Jean.

Ok. It's late. Time for bed.

2004-11-19T11:53:00.000-08:00

I'm flying in on Tuesday. Woot?

My roomate's boyfriend is coming to town today. Last time he was here, he kept making inappropriate jokes about genitalia in front of my parents and 9 year old brother. I'll repeat, he made inappropriate jokes about genitalia IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS AND 9 YEAR OLD- 9- BROTHER!!!
So I think it's understandable if I'm not exactly looking forward to his presence. And if I think he's douchey. He kept telling me to check my printer connections when my internet wasn't working. Hello.

Ach, and my former standpartner/quartetmate is annoying me. He's just getting on my nerves. Can't wait to see you all next week!

2004-11-17T15:24:00.000-08:00

It poured today. I went through 5 pairs of pants and socks and 3 pairs of shoes. Soaked! I hope my room doesn't smell tomorrow.

Ok, so I love the kids in the composition club at pva, ok? But man, you can tell a composer when you see him. I have a friend who's a composition major, and he asked me today to read a piece for his class on Friday. Hello? Today is Wednesday! He'd only written about 2/5ths of it, too. I said yes, but if it sucks, that's his grade. Actually, I kinda like it. But enough.

Thanksgiving in a week! AAAHHHH! I can't wait. Cafeteria food is making me sick, literally. Not enough complex carbohydrates and too many processed foods. mmm, but the soy pudding is so good...

This week is stressful. My pianist hasn't called me back, and I need him to play tomorrow, I don't have his number, and he has my music. shite. I have 2 tests on friday, one of which I am way not prepared for. Test next week, which I am also not prepared for. Plus a paper and jury! argh!

Conductor made me principal of the seconds. I will pwn the section! ahahahahaha! Dude, I had to turn around so many times today, and for stupid mistakes, too. One girl's excuse was that she had trouble reading rhythms as quick as the rest of the section. The ryhthm in question was straight 8th notes. arg!

ooh! We listened to The Erlking in music in the human imagination the other day! kickass, i love that piece!

2004-11-16T12:26:00.000-08:00

The weather here is really nice, but strange. Yesterday, it was foggy, but the fog lasted all day, not just the morning. And there was a light light rain all day, too, like a mist. So it's weird to walk around and see the ground all wet, even though it hasn't really rained.

2004-11-15T14:31:00.000-08:00

Stupid finals schedule stupid screws everything stupid up...

My mom suggested minoring in music and majoring in RTVF (I didn't mention RTVF, by the way, she brought it up herself.) Bah!

I can't wait to graduate college, already. Well, I can. But I can't.

2004-11-14T11:32:00.000-08:00

Iris Chang killed herself! I don't know why, she was so talented. But she wrote about depressing stuff (she's probably most famous for The Rape of Nanking: The Forgotten Holocaust of WWII), and apparently that really affected her, and she just killed herself. It's very sad.

2004-11-13T09:03:00.000-08:00

This stupid school has pissed me off! So finals were scheduled for Dec. 13th to Dec. 17th. Well, the football team only needs to win tonight's game in order to go to the Sunbelt Conference in New Orleans which happens to be scheduled during finals week; about 500 people (band, cheerleaders, athletes) would be required to go. 500. In a school of 30,000. So what did the school decide to do? Move finals up a week to Dec. 8th in order to accomodate 500 OUT OF 30,000 PEOPLE!!!! DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL?!

Now, I have no dead week to prepare for exams, this also affects several final projects, like a paper and MY JURY. I AM PISSED OFF. TO THE MAX. Not only do finals start the 8th, which is a Wednesday, but there are 2 finals scheduled on Dec. 16th and 17th. So I have a week in between finals which I could have used to study for other finals, write a paper, practice, etc. Even with finals starting earlier, I am not going to get to go home a week early. WTF? For 500 PEOPLE IN A SCHOOL OF 30,000!!!!!!!

And I hear a bunch of bullshit arguments in support of it, too: having a more prominent sports team is better for everyone, we should have school spirit, we'll get more money if we support our athletes. UNT is not an athletics school, no matter how many times they try to rub Joe Greene's legacy in our faces. How can I have school spirit for a school that makes such a dumbass decision. This is college for crying out loud, kids involved in extracurriculars in high school always had to make their own arrangements for whatever they missed, why should 29,500 PEOPLE BE INCONVENIENCED FOR 500 PEOPLE?! Most of the people going are marching band anyway, who mostly take music classes, whose teachers are the most understanding and most willing to make up finals with them!

And here's my favorite part: Moving finals week up is illegal! State Law says public universities must have 15 weeks of instruction and about 48 contact hours (including finals.) With the schedule change, we only have 40 contact hours and 14 weeks. Thank you very much Provost Johnson. If I apply later for another college or graduate work or even for my degree here, and I'm told that I didn't meet state requirements for the courses I took this semester, UNT will rue the day they moved finals week! Not only is this illegal, but they stated that the Student Government Association voted in approval, when they hadn't heard of the move until it happened. So much for listening to the student body.

2004-11-12T08:14:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to bed convinced that I was going to change my major, but now I'm not so sure. Here's another funny story. So there's this girl in rehearsal who is always clueless as to what is going on. Last time, she raised her hand while the conductor was talking to the cellos and says, Now, this might just be my problem, but it seems to me like everyone else is playing the correct bowings, and I'm not, and this just throws me off and I get frustrated and can't play. Seriously, she said that.

I went to Grapevine Mills yesterday, but I didn't go in. I just looked at it from the parking lot, and then we went home. True Story.

No classes today because there was a NATS conference and all the music classrooms are being taken over. Well, I did have a physics class, but I skipped it. Shhhh... Shut up.

2004-11-11T11:44:00.000-08:00

Bah. I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I'm getting lazier with each day that passes.

2004-11-10T08:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I have a friend who has gone to Catholic school since middle school, and isn't rub-it-in-your-face-that-your-a-sinner-Catholic, but more like, I-still-go-to-church-every-Sunday-not-just-twice-a-year-Catholic. So she found out that my roomate had made really insulting, ignorant comments about the Catholic church, and got pretty upset, understandably. Really, what she said was based on ignorance and stereotypes, but even I was offended by what she said, and it's been awhile since I've sat in a pew.

So yesterday, my Catholic friend is talking to me in my room, and my roomate happens to be in there, and my friend turns to her and says, So why don't you like Catholics? and goes off on her and tells her which popes did what to change the church and how it's not all about the inquisition, and what is transubstantiation, which is the one huge difference between Catholocism and other denominations. I left after a few minutes because I didn't want to be in the middle of it, but she went on for about 30 minutes. And apparently my roomate kept making ignorant comments, implying that all denominational churches, not just Catholics, don't have anything to do with the Bible anymore, and that their congegrations don't learn anything about being Christian. (This from a girl who has told numerous people that she hates me and that I have ruined her life. Hmm, that's funny, doesn't the Bible mention something about loving thy neighbor and judging not? And what did Jesus say about turning the other cheek, loving your enemy, speaking words of kindness/goodness, etc...?) Hello? What are masses based on? The Sunday comics? And her example of a Bible-based church was Lakewood. Joel Osteen gives nice sermons, but if you've ever watched them, they're closer to Dr. Phil than they are to Luke and John. I don't think my Catholic friend got through to her. She wasn't trying to convert her, she just wanted my roomate to be more educated before she made any more ignorant statements.

And that's my funny story for the day.

2004-11-09T12:48:00.000-08:00

I'm working on Dylan's cd. Poo. Hey, if you guys need a speaker, you can have one of mine, the plug won't reach into the cpu, so it's basically useless. This looks like it's gonna be a good week. I hope it gets cold soon so I can wear my $50 jacket. Ay.

I want a puppy. A cute one, not an ugly one like the dogs we get.

2004-11-08T14:48:00.000-08:00

NATS is holding a conference on campus this Thursday and Friday, so most of my music classes are cancelled because they're using a lot of our classrooms. It's pretty good stuff.

I think my brain is stuck in the middle ages.

2004-11-07T11:43:00.000-08:00

Dude, David Berkowitz is still alive! Not only that, but there were a ring of "sons." He wasn't the only one! They could still be walking around killing, long-dark-haired girls!

2004-11-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

It should be in the 70's this week, so maybe I can hold off on winter clothes until Thanksgiving. I didn't have good luck last night.

I registered for classes today. I have the best schedule ever! Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays: Aural skills from 9 to 10, Keyboard from 10 to 11, Music Education from 11 to 12. I'm done by 12! I don't have to wake up until 8! ahahahaha! I also have Environmental Biology on Mondays and the lab on Wednesdays from 6 pm to 8 or 9, but I only have that class once a week, so that's cool. And rehearsals from 2 to 4. Bah! Tuesdays and Thursdays: Theory from 11 to 12. That's it! All day! How awesome is that!

2004-11-05T19:26:00.000-08:00

I went coat shopping today but didn't really find anything worth what they were charging. A little disappointing. I register for classes tomorrow, arg, I don't know what to take. With ap credit, I have enough hours to be a sophomore at the end of this semester. Scary.

2004-11-02T15:53:00.000-08:00

I feel sick in my stomache after I finish meals lately. I downloaded Fahrenheit 911 yesterday, but not because i'm strongly pro-kerry or anything. i just wanted to see the movie. bah! I practiced and I sounded good, very encouraging. I turned in my paper proposal, and I think I did a pretty good job on it, too. And I voted today! It was fun. I was number 612 in my precinct to vote. I also had a job interview today, and I think I did pretty well. So now I'm in a good mood.

It's colder than hot here, my little jacket is not going to work much longer. So yeah. That's what's going on here.

2004-10-31T12:31:00.000-08:00

I've been reading this book called Composers of the Nazi Era, and it is really interesting. I don't think I will ever look at Strauss' or Schoenberg's music in the same way. These guys had to go through a lot to compose the music that they wanted, but all the composers I've read about, even the Jewish ones, were so reluctant to leave Germany. A lot of times they came to the US and were miserable because they were surrounded by dumb Americans all the time.

2004-10-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

I love the weekends. Not only because there are no classes (oh, thank goodness). But a lot of people go home for the weekends. The campus is so still and quiet, it's nice. It's nice to walk to breakfast and not worry about cars hitting you when you cross the street. There are no cars! Although, this isn't Houston, the pedestrian really does have the right of way here. But it's so nice to just walk and not see anybody and not have to hurry anywhere and to just enjoy the quietness of the campus. mmmm...

2004-10-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

It's friday! rejoice!

2004-10-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

I just don't know.

2004-10-28T15:09:00.000-07:00

I'm at a real loss. Early registraton for classes starts this Thursday. I hate the schedule my advisor gave me, so I probably won't follow it. Crap. I'm seriously considering changing my major. It would probably be to to journalism or english. I have enough hours that I could have a minor in music and not have wasted this semester. If I stay in music, my minor is Education. I don't think I'll be able to double major and keep up my good grades and work and keep extracurriculars. Is it possible to double minor? I think I'll ask about that. If I went into journalism, I would minor in either advertising or RTVF. If I'm gonna do this, I need to make a decision soon. I love music so much, but I don't know if I can keep doing this. I'm starting to have serious doubts about whether I want to teach. I love to write and I have an unhealthy fascination with the media and all its power, which is where the journalism side comes from. I don't think I'm physically capable of playing anymore, either, although I am getting better. I don't want to be one of those people who regrets not continuing with his instrument, and I've met alot of those since I've been here. I love music and feelings that goes with it, but I don't know if I can be a part of it anymore. I think part of this comes from my doubts in my musical "abilities," too. I don't know what to do with myself.

2004-10-27T17:35:00.000-07:00

I saw my most favorite libertarian journalist last night! It was awesome. At one point I took off my glasses and all I could see was his mustache. He autographed books afterwards. I didn't buy one, but I'm thinking I should have because even if I don't like the book, it probably would have sold well on Ebay.

I love contacts.

2004-10-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

you are a turd. let me tell you why. you talk very, very loudly. you watch tv with the speakers on blastoff. could you at least have the courtesy of trying to contain noise levels to your side of the room? no, of course not, because that would take common sense.

watched south park last night. i love that movie, it is so clever. i love the series too. if i was an animated series, i would want to marry southpark.

i actually went to a football game. it wasn't too bad, but it wasn't very fun either. i'm just dissapointed that i didn't get any free shirts.

2004-10-23T11:12:00.000-07:00

The Mendellsohn octet rocks, you guys!

Ok, so I'm playing this sonata, and it's not very difficult from a technical level, but it is very ouch from a musical standpoint. I just don't know how to shape it or approach it, and it's driving me mad! I'm having difficulty getting into it. I don't know what to do about it.

Today is homecoming, how awesome! just kidding, i have no school spirit. I think i'll go to the football game and leave at halftime. Even that might be stretch. Actually, I probably won't go at all. Yeah yeah, i went to an arts school, what do you expect?

My advisor advised me to audition for symphony next semester. About 95% of music is mental, and I have a huge inferiority complex. My last audition was a perfect audition, and I know that just because I didn't get in doesn't mean I suck, it's more complicated, but it was still very disappointing, and I don't think I'll have the right attitude about myself to have a good audition again. Ok, happy thoughts happy thoughts. Let's just not think about if I don't get in again...
Actually, though, not being in symphony has been a blessing in disguise. I injured myself pretty badly last year, and like an idiot I played through it because I didn't want to miss symphony. At one point, I couldn't move my arm enough to reach my g-string (on the instrument, you pervs). And there was always something I didn't want to miss, (beethoven! tchaik! brahms! RACHMANINOFF!!!) so I just kept pumping pills and playing to the point of having to go to physical therapy. Big mistake. But not playing in symphony this semester has let me fix a lot of things, and I don't have as much pain anymore, and it's awesome. And that's another thing; if I do get in, what if I hurt myself again and then I'm right where I started. I think if I don't get in I'll just take that as a sign and change my major.

Here's my advice to PVA: you should have a therapist or somebody come and talk and give advice on how to treat your body. The vocalists learn how to breath, and the dancers learn nutrition, but we don't have anything. And a lot of kids are hurting themselves. (emiliegh? micheal?) Or even offer a course that would teach things to do, how to sit, exercises, posture, all that stuff, because a lot of times, you don't learn these things in lessons. It wouldn't have to be a big deal, it could probably be incorporated into another music elective or something. Just a thought.

2004-10-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

Finally Friday! Today is the best day ever, simply because it is followed by a weekend.

I met with my advisor yesterday. So here's the schedule I'd outlined for myself: theory and aural skills, journalism, keyboard, and a communications class. I would end classes at 11 and 12 (except for rehearsals in the afternoon), and yeah, it would rock. Here's what we came up with together: theory and aural skills, keyboard, strings (i would learn another instrument), a nutrition class, and an education class. I end class at 12 this way, and am taking the same amount of hours, but somehow it looks like it takes up more time. I'm not sure which schedule I like more. Le sigh.

I am thinking I will definitely take classes over summer.

Oh, my private teacher is trying to send a quartet to play at PVA. I think they're playing the mendellsohn that julia's group played last year. The violist is a really strange guy, and one of the violinists kind of reminds me of JJ, not in looks, but in the way he carries himself, he's really awkward when he's not playing. I wish I could be going, but they don't usually put freshman in quartets. Maybe next year...

2004-10-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

You are Vidkun Quisling! Doesn't ring a bell? You
thought your nordic good-looks (not) and Nazi
sympathies would bring you political glory.
Well, you thought wrong. Your coup and rule
lasted only 5 days. And Hitler didn't think
you were all that like he said at the Nazi
Prom. Loser. Slut.

Which Dictator are You?
brought to you by

2004-10-20T11:29:00.000-07:00

I'm going in for academic advising tomorrow. I can't find my ap score report, which is big trouble. I want my credit! I'm gonna ask about double majoring/minoring in something other than music, but the music department turns deaf whenever these things are mentioned.

I rocked my sightsinging exam! It was awesome, I was like, woah, where is that solfege coming from? It wasn't there yesterday. Ah yes, most excellent.

Bah!

2004-10-19T17:57:00.000-07:00

I have a paper proposal due in 2 weeks. I have no clue what to write about, because there are no limitations, as long as it is related to music. I can write about Japanese gagaku if I really want to (which I don't.) Any suggestions?

I am freaking out i am freaking out i am freaking out, but it's gonna be ok. i am going to pick a topic, research it to make sure it's doable, then write the best paper ever, than relax. it's going to be ok it's going to be ok it's going to be ok...

2004-10-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

Hello Monday afternoon! I'm debating whether or not I should practice some more or take a nap. I know the answer is to practice, but that nap is so tempting...

Things are going pretty well here, so I'm happy. For one thing, they served french toast at breakfast. For another, the panini line was pretty short at lunch. Yes, all I do is think about food all day long. No, seriously.

I have a studio class tonight. last time, this kid played some bach. I think tonight this graduate student is gonna play an chaccone (i don't know which one, but they're all pretty awesome) by j.s. and this other chick is gonna play some mozart. studio classes are kind of like open private lessons, we all watch the people in our studio perform and then get criticized. I hope I never have to play in one...

2004-10-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

A lot of people here have small whiteboards hanging on their doors, and people leave messages or write funny sayings and stuff on them, i guess as an expression of individuality. Well, lately some guys have been coming down and drawing peepees on people's boards and stealing their markers and crap. How absolutely ridiculous. I have a friend who's gonna go up and draw the female equivalent on their boards and take a few of their markers, too. I'm just amazed that people can be that dumb.

2004-10-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

Saturday is starting out to be a good day. I went and practiced, sounded awesome. They served french toast for breakfast, tre good. My suitemate is out of town, but she's letting me use her keyboard, tv, and movies while she's gone, most excellent. And the weather is beautiful, it's chilly, but the sun is out and the sky is really really blue, nice.

mmm... And today is laundry day! I love laundry day! I love doing laundry, i don't even know why!

My goal for the day: apply for jobs.